4. "Which well-liked pro golfer once switched sponsors because he needed several million dollars in hush money? Seems he knocked up a stripper while playing at the Firestone Country Club in Akron, Ohio, and had to pay her off to keep their love child a secret." [Page Six]
So... any guesses people?
A bunch of all-star rappers have gotten together to record a song for the new LeBron James doc, More Than a Game. No big news here, since most rappers can't go into the studio without at least two or three other guys tagging along.
The big deal about "Forever" is that it marks the first time Lil Wayne and Eminem have appeared together on a track.
The song, which gives top-billing to "Best I Ever Had" hitmaker Drake, also includes a verse by Kanye West.
It's pretty good — but it's also kinda long. It goes on for six minutes, about two minutes' more than most hip-hop fans' attention spans. There are plenty of subtle lines about how great King James is (what? You expected a rhyme about Kobe?), but they could just as well be about the artists (we have no fucking clue what Weezy's going on about).
Our favorite line comes early: "Last name 'Ever,' first name 'Greatest.'" And Em throws a rhyme in there about Hannibal Lecter, because we think he's contractually obligated to.
Hype Williams (who else, right?) will direct the hip-hop all-star team in the official "Forever" video, which will come out sometime next month.
The movie will be released on October 2. The soundtrack drops a few days before, on September 29. You can grab the song on iTunes or listen to it for free above. —Michael Gallucci
Thunder Dan. Bet you don't think about his time in Cleveland too often. Well, unless you think about Wally Szczerbiak with any frequency, because I'm convinced they're the same person.
If you're going to own a jersey of a completely random Cleveland guy, someone who passed through town and just as quickly departed, something that would be at home at Straight Cash Homey, this is the one to own. Live it like it's 1995-1996 all over again, and cheaply too, with the bidding starting at $5.
"These models keep themselves in great shape. They have to. The job demands it," said Mangini. "And once he goes back to visit his runway buddies and tells them about all the brigthly-colored shirts and the tight pants, I think the NFL is going to have them lining up like it's a warehouse sale at Barneys."
With no real news on the QB battle, instead read this: "Male Model Reportedly in Running for Browns' QB Job."
First, there was the Fightins and Birdland creation — the "City of Brother-Lee-Love."
And now, PhillyPhaithful comes along with the "Thanks Cleveland" mock Chief Wahoo in Phillies colors tee.
Apaprently Philly just can't stop thanking Cleveland for parting was with the reigning AL Cy Young winner, so much so that words just won't do. No! They need to make t-shirts.
I appreciate their being polite about the whole thing. Lee is 5-0 with a 0.68 ERA since heading to the NL, and I never thought so many Phillies fans would be so freakin' thrilled that they didn't land Halladay. They're ebullient about Phifer. Which is nice. I just ask that a portion of the proceeds get donated to the Dolan family so they might procure another young arm that we can then bestow on another team in, say, four or five years down the road.
It was just two years ago that the Red Sox sent home Martinez's Indians in a brutal Game 7 loss at Boston in the American League Championship Series. Cleveland led the series 3-1 before losing the final three games. The players were crushed. On the plane home, Martinez and Sabathia — teammates since low-A ball — sat next to each other. They were emotional, teary-eyed, as they reminisced about their time together.
Martinez, always emotionally attuned to the moment, confessed to Sabathia his thoughts about the future.
"That might be the last time we're all together, in this position," he said to his friend.
That bit of nostalgia comes from this piece by Amy K. Nelson at ESPN on Victor Martinez adapting to his new team in Boston.
A similar sentiment or phrase might have been uttered among many an Indians fan to the Indians fan seated next to him that same night, if only we had any inkling of the calamitous and precipitous collapse that would soon ensnare our baseball team. Maybe we all knew, after all, it's not everyday your team's on the verge of a World Series berth, and it's definitely not something you get used to, even if they've been there twice in twelve years. But even if we did know, we were probably too busy throwing nachos at the TV and deliriously interrogating the Chief Wahoo on our hats about why exactly he was so freaking happy to mumble anything other than vulgarities to each other. I'm sure the physical demonstrations got the point across though.
I mean, it goes without saying, but it bears repeating: The Indians were one win away from the World Series two short years ago, and now Cliff and Vic and Garko and Betancourt and others — the same guys, with the exception of Cliff, standing on the field during the Game 7 loss in Boston — are playing for other teams. Including Boston. The freaking Red Sox. I mean, son of a bitch, right?
Seeing Vic in a Red Sox uniform could be just the prelude, however. As we mercifully count down the days until this season ends, October baseball still looms. Considering the number of former Wahoos littered around the rosters of playoff contenders, I began thinking about what I would like to see least when the postseason actually begins and just what my reaction might be to yet another swift bitch slap from God upon the humble and steadfast masses of Cleveland sports fans.
Ranked on a scale of "Better Not Happen Because I Might Punch My TV And Thusly Be Unable to Watch the Cavs" to "Wouldn't Care."
1. Victor Martinez Hits a Game-Winning Homer in ALCS or Later at Fenway
When asked about his thoughts on the recent Indians trades, a friend recently wrote to me, "Something happened to me when Shapiro traded Victor. It stopped being my team. I told my son to find another team. They're dead to me."
That's a pretty common theme among disgruntled Indians fans. The contingent of forward-thinking, rational loyalists who believe it was a smart move to send Vic eastward might have a few less members if this occurs. Mainly because the Red Sox "nation" is unbearable to begin with, and to see them celebrating wildly while Martinez circles the bases and slowly (remember, this is still Vic we're talking about) approaches the awaiting mob of Papelbon and Ortiz and Youkilis at home would be simply disgusting.
2. Cliff Lee vs. C.C. Sabathia, Game 1 of the World Series, Yankee Stadium.
Gut punch. Only possible way to describe this scenario. Sure, on one hand, it would be kind of cool, in a way, to watch these two square off merely from a baseball standpoint.
Just a bitter reminder that two short years ago our ace faltered in the playoffs against the Red Sox, got shipped out during the next season, only to make room for another ace to stake his claim at the top of the rotation — and they're both freaking gone. Cue replays of the Indians vs. Red Sox 2007 ALCS during every available moment of the broadcast and incessant, depressing Indians talk from the ill-equipped announcers. Then cue me, attempting to fit the remote in my eye.
The only salvation in this case is if C.C. falls apart, just like he did for us in the playoffs. Since the trade to Philadelphia, Cliff Lee is like 123-0 with a -0.124 ERA for the Phillies, or something like that. And he plays in the NL, so I'm rooting for him.
In fact, that's the basis of my bias. Can't be the Yankees or Red Sox. For all I care, Mark DeRosa could hit 32 homers in the playoffs for the Cardinals and single-handedly carry them to the World Series. Rafael Betancourt could convert to a starter and toss a perfect game for the Rockies. Ryan Garko could turn into Albert Pujols for a few months. Don't care.
As long as what transpires has nothing to do with what used to be the Indians best players, playing for the teams I hate the most, I can happily watch baseball the rest of the year. Even if that nacho stain from 2007 hasn't come completely clean yet.
CLEVELAND, Ohio — After the NFL decides what to do about the scoreboard problem in Dallas, the league might have another quandary to look into regarding a similar situation in Cleveland, as the Browns have installed a scoreboard on the field of Cleveland Browns stadium to nullify the run game of their opponents.
"We decided that by the time the league looked into our scoreboard and decided what to do, we'd have already played the Vikings," said coach Eric Mangini. "To nullify Adrian Peterson with such a simple move was a no-brainer. Even if we're told to move it for games after. And there's always the possibility that it stays for the entire season."
With the Browns defense struggling with injuries and an overall lack of talent, the organization felt the wall of video and sound might very well be their most important addition on that side of the ball.
"Look, we're not a very good football team and we're not going to win many games," said Mangini. "At the very least, if the scoreboard on the field doesn't stop the opponent, our guys will have a good view of the Kiss Cam. You see that? That's quality entertainment."