Every time I see something like this, I can't help but think that his goals of billionairehood aren't hampered at all by Akron or Cleveland. I'm reminded constantly that this decision is most likely not about anything but winning, and winning a lot. (Hat tip to Skeets)
— Doug Lesmerises once again goes to great lengths to explain his controversial AP ballot. This time? Oh, he forgot about Washington. While that didn't effect where the Huskies would have ended up had he included them, it's just another strange move in his votes. I'm actually very entertained by this, mostly for all the reaction he's getting. (Cleveland.com)
— Shoals takes on the notion of NBA stars factoring hometown's into free agency decisions over at The Sporting Blog. (TSB)
— Poorly drawn arrows, jokes, and the phrases "little dick" and "biggest dick ever" are used by Spencer Hall to explain why sometimes OSU gets the shaft when it comes to voting. (EDSBS)
— OMGZZGZGZGZGZG!!! Shaq's having a party at the Barley House! OMG!
VIP's set to attend include LeBron, Brady Quinn, Grady Sizemore, David Huff.... Wait. David Huff? (Cleveland.com)
— Ever wondered what perennial stars in the NBA LeBron has already passed on the all-time scoring list in his short but brilliant career? Dime wondered too. (Dime)
— Speaking of LeBron, another fan has taken the Nike "Witness" campaign to extreme Cav Fanatic levels. (Waiting for Next Year)
— More LeBron? Ball Don't Lie looks at the ten best statistical seasons of the last decade. Yes, Lebron's 2008-2009 campaign takes the cake, and in dramatic, historical, groundbreaking, record-setting fashion. (Ball Don't Lie)
Not only is this glass special because it's from 1981, the year of my birth, but also because it's Brian Sipe, and if there's anything Browns Fan loves, and this is especially true now more than ever, it's looking back to when we were good. Or at least sorta good. Or at least entertaining. Yeah, let's just set "entertaining" as the bar.
Start your morning right each day by drinking your orange juice out of this Brian Sipe beauty. He'll be there, smiling, saying, "Yeah, it sucks now, but remember, I broke your freaking heart and you still love me. You'll grow to love these guys. Brady's even got better hair than I do." Or something like that.
If you watched the Browns play the Broncos on Sunday, and you managed to not turn the channel to Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami out of sheer boredom, then you were undoubtedly subjected to some bad numbers concerning the Orange and Brown. The statements followed a general pattern: The Browns haven't (x) since (y), where (x) = something good and (y) = a significant amount of time.
Farcical and Depressing were going neck and neck as words best used to describe those numbers. As the hapless and futile game took its place in what is assuredly going to be a hapless and futile season, the Browns entered a rarified domain of statistics. We are officially at the point where you can toss around outlandish statements like "The Browns haven't had a run of 50 yards or more since Leroy Hoard" or "The Browns haven't scored two touchdowns in a single quarter since 1998" and reasonably educated football fans will look at you and go, "Huh, sounds about right." The droughts are so legendary, the team so mired in ineptitude, that the craziest of assertions are not only indistinguishable from reality, they're more plausible.
With school beginning I thought it appropriate to test your knowledge of this group of schmucks. Take the quiz, unofficially titled "The Cleveland Browns Since 1999 (Or: Let Me Borrow That Cleat So I Can Stick It In My Eye)," below.
1) The Browns haven't scored a rushing touchdown since...
a) December 9, 2007 vs. the Jets.
b) October 13, 2008 vs the Giants.
c) November 17, 2008 vs the Bills.
d) December 15, 2008 vs. the Eagles.
2) Jamal Lewis hasn't rushed for 100 yards or more in a game since...
a) He ran for 853 yards (estimated) in one game against the Browns while he was a Raven.
b) Sometime in 2006.
c) He always runs for over 100 yards if you count all the stutter steps.
d) December 30, 2007 vs. the 49ers.
3) The Browns haven't gone back-to-back games without a turnover since...
a) Ty Detmer was the quarterback.
b) October 19, 2008 vs. the Redskins; October 26, 2008 vs. the Jaguars.
c) Weeks 14 and 15 of the 2007 season.
d) November 30, 2008 vs. the Colts; December 7, 2008 vs. the Titans
4) The Browns record since returning in 1999 is...
5) The Browns have used 13 different quarterbacks (not counting receivers, running backs, or special teams players) since 1999, can you name them?
6) The Browns cracked 400 yards of total offense against the Giants in the Monday Night game in 2008, the only time they did so all season. When was the last time before that?
a) December 23, 2007 vs. the Bengals.
b) November 4,. 2007 vs. the Seahawks.
c) December 3, 2006 vs. the Bengals.
d) November 6, 2005 vs. the Titans.
e) During the Otta Graham era.
7) Only twice since 1999 has a Cleveland Browns player tallied double-digit sacks. Name the players and the number of sacks.
8) Since 1999 four players have had 8 sacks in a season, tied for third highest in the last ten years. They include...
a) Keith McKenzie.
b) Mark Word.
c) Kenard Lang.
d) Ebenezer Ekuban.
e) All of the above, since you wouldn't have gotten them all.
9) Randy Lerner hasn't appeared on camera to directly address the fans since...
a) Firing Romeo Crennel.
b) Hiring Eric Mangini.
c) His 13th birthday party when his parents filmed him opening his presents.
d) An unaired episode of Candid Camera.
10) The Browns haven't ranked in the top 15 defensively for Points Allowed or Yards Allowed since...
11) The Browns haven't scored a touchdown in the first quarter of a game since...
a) November 6, 2008 vs. the Broncos,.
b) September 28, 2008 vs. the Bengals.
c) December 9, 2007 vs. the Jets.
d) September 16, 2007 vs. the Bengals.
12) Watching the Browns this season is like...
a) Having to spend an hour with Bret Michaels.
b) Having to watch an episode of Bus of Love.
c) Your girlfriend telling you she's leaving you to be on Bus of Love II.
d) Your girlfriend telling you that when she was "vacationing with her family" last month she was really appearing on Bus of Love and that you should probably head to the doctor for a few tests and a good broad spectrum antibiotic.
Answer Key: 1) c; 2) d; 3) b; 4) c; 5) Tim Couch, Ty Detmer, Doug Pederson, Spergon Wynn, Kelly Holcomb, Jeff Garcia, Luke McCown, Trent Dilfer, Charlie Frye, Derek Anderson, Ken Dorsey, Brady Quinn, Bruce Gradkowski; 6) b; 7) Kamerion Wimbley - 11 (2006), Jamir Miller - 13 (2001); 8) e; 9) Who the fuck knows. I'm pretty sure he doesn't exist. 10) b (and they haven't ranked in the top ten of both categories since 1994). 11) a; 12) d.
Other people write words too, ya know. Sometimes I like to show you where those words were written.
— Quotatious Part I: Regarding extra police presence in Cleveland for last Saturday's Ohio State and Toledo game:
The department routinely puts extra patrols on the street for events like Browns games. But this weekend they are taking it further.
"We're treating it like a playoff game," he said.
The last Browns home playoff game was January 1, 1994.
— Quotatious Part II: Regarding those Brown pants:
The Browns intend to wear brown pants and white jerseys on the road all season.
Mangini said he decided on the radical look because he thought it looked good "and the guys felt the same way." Players also find the brown pants more comfortable and less restrictive because of the absence of a stripe down the legs.
if Dwayne Rudd could be reached for comment, I'm positive he'd say something like, "They should also play without helmets, it's less restrictive that way."
— If you're wondering where that LeBron photo up top came from head on over to this Cleveland Frowns post. Frownie and I spent Saturday at the new Infocision Stadium in Akron for the Zips/Hoosiers game. He's got a full photo gallery of the fans, and, yes, a pic of LeBron, who showed up and was hanging out on the Zips' sideline. (Cleveland Frowns)
— If you've paid any attention to the NL this year, you know that the Dodgers have acquired enough former Wahoos to be considered Indians West. The Dugout over at Fanhouse does what they do with the former Clevelanders. My favorite: Colon's screenname — BartoloCaribbeanCool. (Fanhouse)
— PD Buckeye beat reporter and AP Poll voter Doug Lesmerises has rankled some with his first three polls of the season. Florida out of the top spot? Miami number two? USC at 25? OSU at 24? WTF? Bowling Green ranked third? (OK, I made that last one up.)
To be fair, Doug's got a logic to his madness and he's explained it a couple of times. Ignore preseason perceptions, go off the games, drop teams like mad if you think they deserve it. Check out his ballot at Pollspeak (notice the incredible number of "Extreme" votes, meaning he's got a team ranked either highest or lowest among all voters, and then notice how many people thought he was a "good" voter and how many people thought he was a "bad" voter — they're about equal). Then read The Sporting Blog's take. (Sporting Blog)
— Scott over at WFNY breaks down why Josh Cribbs might have done damage to his campaign to get a new contract with his Week 2 performance. We thought the same thing yesterday. Seems everyone's all over Cribbs today, and while that's fair, the onus is on Mangini to get him out of the No. 2 receiver spot and back on the cover teams where he belongs. If coach wants to trot Cribbs out as the third or fourth receiver every once in awhile, or continue to use the Wildcat package, that's fine. But Robiskie or Massaquoi needs to be starting and getting the reps from now on. (Waiting for Next Year)
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