This story from the Washington Post is from back in early December, but it's worth passing on just to show how smart Browns fans can be sometimes. And to see what could have been done with $700 billion.
Neil Kashkari is a Northeast Ohio-bred wonderkid who was put in charge of TARP. For our purposes here, it's also important to know that he has two dogs, one named Winslow and one named Newsome. The story details how Kashkari went away to the wilderness to be with his dogs, build shit with his hands, and get as far away as possible from D.C. after he stepped down. The story within the story?
Suddenly, he was in charge of $700 billion.
Congress savaged him. Wall Street Journal editorials doubted him. His home-town buddies urged him to use the money to buy the Cleveland Browns and fire the coaches. His wife spoke to him so rarely, she described them as "dead to each other." He lost sleep, gained weight and saw a close adviser, Don Hammond, suffer a heart attack at his Treasury desk. On May 1, after serving seven months under Presidents Bush and Obama, he resigned.
Wonder if things would have gone better if he'd just named his second dog Newsome II instead of Winslow.
New MVPuppets. "Shoes on Fire."
Michael Redd staying busy while his injury leaves him on the Bucks' shelf:
From Muscle Milk's augmented reality campaign with Shaq:
And another Muscle Milk commercial, because it involves a rapping Pilgrim.
Shaq and a company that he has officially licensed his name and image to are involved in a lawsuit in Las Vegas with another company that has been using O'Neal's "Shaqtus" nickname on apparel and a Website. Yes, the man of 1000 nicknames is at the center of a little trademark brouhaha all because someone is squatting on the www.shaqtus.net site and selling t-shirts (which you can still get for $15 at their site) bearing the likeness, nickname, and number of the Shaqtus. Here's the legal lowdown:
Attorneys for Mine O’Mine with the Las Vegas law firm of Lewis and Roca LLP charge in the suit that in February and March 2008, after O’Neal was traded by Miami to Phoenix, Mortensen registered the Web site domain name shaqtus.com and Calmese, in the name of True Fan Logo, registered the name shaqtus.net.
The suit says that in 2008 and 2009, ESPN broadcast commercials featuring O’Neal encountering a cactus bearing his face in the Arizona desert, and that on Dec. 4 Calmese sent a letter to ESPN claiming to own the Shaqtus trademark and offering to resolve the matter if ESPN would do business with Calmese, including development of a "Shaqtusclaus" clip for Christmas.
On Dec. 8, attorneys for ESPN responded to Calmese and told him ESPN received consent from Mine O’Mine to use "Shaq" trademarks and asserting that it was Calmese who was infringing on Mine O’Mine’s intellectual property rights, the lawsuit says.
On Dec. 29, attorneys for Mine O’Mine and O’Neal demanded that Calmese and True Fan Logo stop using the Shaqtus name and that the shaqtus.net and shaqtus.com Web site names be transferred to Mine O’Mine, the suit says. It says that on Jan. 4, Calmese responded that O’Neal consented to Calmese’s use of the Shaqtus name when O’Neal agreed to take a picture with Calmese and autograph a t-shirt.
"Neither O’Neal nor Mine O’Mine has granted a license to use the Shaq right of publicity or to use and own the Shaqtus mark or the shaqtus.com or shaqtus.net domain names," the lawsuit charges.
Well, not that jersey — that's Dwight Howard's. But this is what the All Star game jersey for the East will look like. With images of the uniforms kinda, sorta out in public now, Paul Lukas over at Uni Watch posted the pics he took during a trip to the NBA offices of what the get-ups will look like. Here's the complete photostream on Flickr, including the West's uniforms and some of the warm-ups.
During the affair in Golden State the other night, Shaq stepped on Warriors' rookie Stephen Curry's hand. Want to know how that felt? Curry wrote a blog about it for GQ:
Two nights ago, against the Cavs, I was going down the middle and threw a pass to our center, and then I fell on the floor in the paint. Shaq was right there, but he had his back turned to me. He took a couple steps, and his last step was directly on my right hand. I didn't know what to do. I kind of went into shock 'cause I knew he was like 400 pounds. Ha. All of the weight was on my hand, pinned to the floor pretty cleanly, so I tried to stay as still as possible and not move, 'cause I knew if I tried to get out from under him I might break my hand.
Genuinely shocked that was the extent of the damage.
Watch, trust me. Mark Titus, Warrant, fundamentals, lightning, winking, and basketball.
There's lots of retrospectives out there looking back at the eventful 2009-2010 Browns season. From the quarterback competition to Braylon's punching antics, from the early anger and embarrassing losses to the four game win streak, from anticipating Mangini getting shipped out of town to the unlikely retention of ManGenius and the arrival of Mike Holmgren, it certainly was an interesting campaign. Unlike other retrospectives, however, we'd like to travel back in time through cartoons, because words are hard. Derf's scribblings from the first week to the last are after the jump.
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