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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Rock Hall Inductions: A View From the Balcony

Posted By on Sun, Apr 5, 2009 at 10:02 AM

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7:23 - I enter to find a concrete ramp leading to the balcony. If you've ever been to Wrigley or Fenway and endured the clusterfuck down the ramps to exit, imagine the same thing except reversed.
7:35 - After not one, but two such ramps, you enter a lobby of some sort — ornate, but approximately 100 degrees and it smells like BO.
7:36 - It first appears that there is one entrance, which is unfortunate because there are about 200 people waiting to get in at this moment. As it turns out, you can't go in that way unless your seat is in a certain section. With no signs, this is impossible to know unless you ask someone or wait in the line.
7:37 - Bathrooms are an elegant mix of mid-1960's college dorm room and somewhere one might dump a body.
7:38 - Dress code for the balcony: Jeans, lots of leather jackets, a few girls dressed like they're heading to prom after this is over, seven ponytails (male), one Run DMC Adidas track jacket, and one obvious hooker.
7:50 - Frank Jackson is applauded, which coicidentally was the opposite response from when he was introduced at Jay Z and LeBron's Obama concert. Strange.
7:55 - It sure looks nice down on the floor. Chairman acknowledges the public and they look up at us with pity. No cocktail shrimp for us.
7:58 - From up here, I can only make out for certain Flea, because his hair is the shade of some flavor of turquoise Kool Aid, and the Rev, because he's wearing a hat.
8:20 - Nevermind, I see Bootsy. Hard to miss him.
8:50 - Danny Ferry looks exceedingly bored.
8:52 - Flea's hair matches the waiters' ties.
8:28 - Russell Simmons' date is perhaps the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in person, and I know that even sitting 200 feet away.
9;20 - Raise your hand if you had Bobby Womack in the 'referencing Obama first' pool.
9:45 - Lady just got escorted out for screaming too much for Eminem.
10:07 - Four people around me are asking each other what each is twittering at the moment. Maybe, like me, they are thinking that looking down on the VIPs, at least two dozen can claim to have the Dick Vitale haircut, but the guy at Frank Jackson's table wears it best.

10:15 - Danny Ferry still looks unbelievably bored. Final Four is on and he's watching Jeff Beck, in his white dress tank, shred.
11:00 - No surprise, the crowd is pro-Metallica.
11:02 - Flea.. First and second F-bombs of the night.
11:15 - Ronnie Wood looks like he's in complete wonder at everything in the world. I wonder how old that girl next to him is.
11:17 - I bet Danny Ferry digs Metallica..
11:19 - Nope. No clapping by Danny as Metallica announced.
11:25 - Does this place sell out if Metallica isn't inducted? Probably not judged on the response they're getting.

Addendum. Danny Ferry just walked over and introduced himself to Flea before Metallica played. Either he loved the speech or loves Flea, either one is cool. —Vince Grzegorek

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