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10 Things Going on in Cleveland this Weekend (January 3-5) 

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Sunday, January 5: Rants and Raves

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“I hate this goddamn job, I hate these people…I’m gonna need something to get me through this day,” jokes comic Mike Lukas. That opening bit might make it sound like he’s identifying with anyone working a minimum wage job, but he’s actually referring to Disney Land employees. If the language weren’t bad enough, he caps the joke off with a coke-snorting pantomime, meaning that this may not be the best comedian to take the kids to if you can’t find a babysitter. By the joke’s end, he’s pretending to be a Space Mountain ride worker high on “Tinker Bell’s fairy dust” and eating the innards of a decapitated rider. Yeah, you should really reconsider bringing the kids out for this one. Lukas takes the Improv stage tonight at 7. Tickets are $17. (Jacob DeSmit) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com

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