Safeword, safeword, safeword, safeword!
Dan, you have amazing insight into many many things of the sexual nature, but I'm afraid you're way off base on this one. One cannot compare the implicit knowledge of a person's genitalia upon agreeing to date him/her to that of their skin color, body size or inclination towards masculinity/femininity. These things should all be apparent upon looking at a potential partner's pictures. When dating online, I believe it is incumbent upon the transgender person to disclose the fact that he or she is transgender. Why would a trans person not do this? Dating someone under the pretense of being cisgender when not is as dishonest as dating someone under the pretense of being trans when not. To do this is a lie of omission. Like CAYA, I also support the LBGT community to the fullest and have no intention on turning in my Trans Ally card. I think it is irresponsible of you to imply that CAYA is an "asshole" for using simple logic when trying to choose a partner.
Thank you for raising awareness around painful intercourse.
In our work treating female sexual dysfunction at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality in NY, we often meet women struggling with pelvic pain. Unfortunately many women are simply not aware that they don't need to suffer from painful intercourse. Pain can be caused by a variety of factors, such as dryness, tight muscles, nerve sensitivity, stress, and other
emotional factors. Hoping the pain will go away on its own may lead to continued frustration, avoidance or dread of sexual activity, and a negative cycle between spouses that leads to rejection, guilt, resentment, and general distance.
Hopefully with continued education, women will reach out for help and not feel ashamed about it. After all, wouldn't they reach out for help for pain in any other part of the body?
Go to Eros and if that doesn't work there's always Craigslist.
If that woman is in a sex-less marriage, I know her pains. My wife and I might have sex once a month if I get lucky. I'm only 53 and everything is in working condition. Maybe her and I should get together and solve our problems.
Sexless in Cleveland
Savage Love is so creepy good!!!
Feel better, Dan. You are one wonderfully cool dude.
These poor advice columnists. We read them for years, and then when they speak less than clearly, we gleefully parade our superiority. I ♥ Dan Savage ♥ even though he may have made a mistake.
If you get to Cleveland, Dan, lemme know and I'll buy you a beer. Keep on keepin' on -- you do far more good in this world than you will ever know.
Buncha rust-belt hillbillies!
Stupid people play nice!!!!!
Hmmm, I can see some additonal divorces coming up within those relationaships.
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