Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!!!!
Okay, we shouldn't use the Chief (even though it was originally a tribute to one of the first heroes of Cleveland baseball, friendly grin and all. It was a character sketch just like the ones you'd see today at Cedar Point by an artist sketching for an exorbitant amount of cash).
And we have to get rid of the Indians name itself (has to be Native American to be PC).
And we can't use an animal image, like a cheetah or panther, because of the implication of unrestrained -- and dangerous -- "wildness" and abuse (like the negativism of the pit bull controversy). PETA and the ASPCA would be joining in before long.
We can't even use the generic (and boring) "C" symbol because of its certain offensive locker-room connotation (which can't be published here -- except in certain articles of the Scene Mag itself -- or on the back page ads -- but otherwise, no, not here).
And even arachnophobes will protest bringing back the Spiders!
So what is Cleveland known for? This is the Pothole Capital of America, so how can you make a non-offensive logo out of that?
Hey, I think the jerks out there don't realize that, to be entirely "politically correct" we would have to give up the name "Indians" all together! Keeping the name if not the logo would simply stir up "horrible memories" of this terrible controversy. Any sort of subtle connotations, suggestiveness or associations would simply continue to offend someone else -- and, of course, we just can't have that. So let's try to figure out a new name for the Cleveland baseball team. Panthers have a distinctive name. I believe the logo-designers can do something with that without it becoming offensive. And if all else fails, we can always go back to being the Spiders. Does anyone not like spiders?
It wouldn't be so bad...if they would also "swap" out some other taxes, sort of an equitable balance. Eliminating other taxes to enable these taxes would be the only way we can take this bitter pill. Oh, and also, if they can guarantee a winning season. If not, we get our money back!
Of course, this is not a laughing matter. The danger to cars, to drivers, and to the children who have to sit in these vehicles along with the major potential for injury, is a sad commentary on both Cleveland and Lakewood. Both seem to deny responsibility for the possible casualties to property and people. You need a sense of humor to get to the freeways along here. Wasn't it the mayor of Cleveland who wanted to lower the speed along the west shoreway with his off-hand comment about "let them (the drivers) stop and smell the roses?" Clearly this shows we can assume his similar position on other issues, including the life-threatening crevasses they call potholes.
All that work and the final insult is having our shoreway turn into a 35 MPH traffic light mess (probably turning ever two minutes). I hope we get tickets to the premiere but something tells me that only the east side will get tickets. Is anyone worried that "our" premiere" is on April Fools Day?
Hey, hey, hey, United! Hold it right there! What about all the money C-town has poured into a new convention center? Just so we could get more travelers to fly in here. The locals went through a lot of inconvenience and scandal and hardship just to get this thing built. We don't need this albatross hanging over us!!
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