squeezebox 
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Re: “Your Anti-LeBron T-Shirt Roundup

The "Chosen 1" Reality Check

Hey Dan, Stop the presses! Don't dump the "Chosen 1" memorabilia, but save it, get creative and have some fun along the way.

Let's turn the "Chosen 1's" shirts and jersies into Terrible Towels à la Steelers. Hold a creative decoration contest with all the old stuff. Either give it away or sell it at cost. The winners will have their creations displayed in the lobby of the Q.

When the HEAT roll into town, the winners get seats behind both baskets and show off their works of art to ESPN and TNT cameras at every Heat foul shot. And all the while, the rest of the fans wave their terrible towels. Nothing gross, but suble, incisive, mocking humor.

Looks like there are 30 other NBA cities that think the same way, so it should pick up steam rather easily.

Make such a mockery of "The Chosen 1", that he will never again dare to bare his shoulders in public.

A few ideas to get the ball rolling (if someone can put the design to paper all the better):

1) The "Chosen 1" jersey - on the back at shoulder level

Chosen 1X (X = crossed out)
.............2X "
.............3X "
.............4X "
.............5X "
"Hey Maverick, How many choices we got left?"

2) Jersey n°2
God smiling down from above on the "Chosen 1"
"Well it looks like that proto-type still has a few bugs in it"

3) Jersey n°3
Again God looking down
"Well, that wasn't such a good choice after all. Can you make it 2 out of 3"

4) "Chosen 1" bobble head n°1
"Yeah Maverick, Just shake your head like this"

5) "Chosen 1" bobble head n°2
"Don't let that Ego get to your head. Oups, just do as I say, not as I do"

6) Jersey n°4
A sketch of the "Chosen 1's" castle in Bath
Title above: "The Chosen Diva's" Burial Grounds
Sign posted on the lawn: "Inflated egos admitted free of charge"

After all, Memphis only has the tomb of the "King". N.E. Ohio has the Rock'n Roll museum AND his successor's, the "King n°2", Burial Grounds

Just think about it. The "Chosen 1's" castle has become a giant albatross. He can't live in it and he can't sell it. And all the while, he's paying exorbitant property taxes and maintenance fees.

7) Jersey n°5
Again, The "Chosen 1's" castle with a "For Sale" sign on the lawn
In the foreground a sketch of Maverick Carter with the caption
"Would you trust this man to sell you a used Albatross?"

Deck the roads of Bath with signs of joy, merriment and mockery! Just to remind all "Chosen 1" tourists that He will forever live in our hearts ;-)


The 3 Amigos Dragon Hunting Primer

So how do you slay a 3 headed Amigo? Just run it to death until it drops from exhaustion.
Run, run, run... Fast break, fast break, fast break,

As it stands, the complimentary casting in Miami will be made up of older veterans. They won't even need Mike Brown to be much slower than this years Cav's roster. So ... Make them run hard 48 minutes a game, 82 games a year and see how they make it across the "Finish Line"

Make it the most creative fast break in NBA history. Criss-cross in front of the basket. Pass back to the trailer while ESPN shows replays of the "Chosen 1" fly swatting. Kick out to the wing for an Alley oop to the 4th man down. Make it so that they never know which side it will come from. Take all the freebees you can get before the defense sets. The "3 Amigos Dragon Slaying Fast Break" comes in 28 flavors. Once the rest of the league figures it out, the 3 amigos will be forever looking up to the out of reach magical ring in the sky.

Hey Byron, yuh listenin'!


8) Jersey n°6
The 3 Amigos bent over, hands on knees, sucking air... JJ dunking in the back ground

9) Jersey n°7
The 3 Amigos' heads mounted on wooden plates, hanging over the fire place (It's late, so you'll have to help me with the caption for this one)

10) Jersey n°8
I can imagine doing something with the 3 Gollums chasing the ever-illusive Ring

11) Jersey n°9
A sign post in the middle of the desert, under a blazing sun (conviently named "HEAT")
The 3 Amigos shriveling up at the base of the sign post
.............................. __
............................... ! !
................................! !Miami>
.{NBA championship! !
................................! !Over inflated Egos>
.........{All Star votes! !
................................! !Free Agent purgatory - 6 yrs>
................................! !Salerie cap HELL - 6 yrs>
................................! !Lost draft choices - 6 yrs>
................................! !
................................! !
................................! !
................................! !
................................! !
................................! !


The NBA All-Star Diva Reality Check
DIVA pruning 101

OK gang, this is where we actually get our say. Can't afford to let this one get away, too.

Can you see David Stern trying to explain on ESPN how someone that finished 3rd, 4th or better yet 5th in the voting, was named to the backup All-Star team over the players that finished ahead of them?

Dear David, What message are you trying to send to the youth of America. That character doesn't count as long as you can take it to the rim? That the NBA is a protective cocoon that shields young Divas from the realities of main street. As long as Papa David looks over you, you will never have to grow up!

Imagine David Stern having to call in "The Maverick Carter Professional Public Relations and Collateral Damage Repair Service" to get things back on track. Oups, didn't we try that already. 2 out of 3 anybody!

The NBA - where over-inflated egos come crashing back to reality (No safety Nets Allowed)


We'll get this going once the season starts, but let's take advantage of all the interest at present to lay the ground work. We'll need a correspondant in each city and a list of all blogs, team/fan/sports sites, .... where we can post messages at the appropriate time.

The Cav's have leads to the Chinese market and the Nets to the one in Russia. Don't you think that "Chosen 1's" roasted ego wouldn't taste great with these exotic sauces?

Anyone got a personal web site where we can organize this?


So Mr. Stern, you say that there was behind the scenes plotting? Well, that just makes it 1-1 at half time. You set the rules, we just follow the example.


So unleash the imaginations and let's roll up the sleeves and get to work. Post your ideas, artwork, songs, jokes .... here.

Get creative and stay thirsty, my friends.

Posted by squeezebox on 07/14/2010 at 8:50 AM

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