I bought a vacant distressed home in 2008 for my primary residence. Naturally, lots of permits were going to be required to resurrect the old beauty, but I wanted to contribute to improving the neighbourhood and the city of Cleveland in my own small way. One would think that the building department officials would be thrilled over it. Particularly, because the price of a perfectly liveable domicile would've been alot cheaper to buy. Instead, I have had incredibly negative experiences obtaining permits. BD employees have mastered the art of moving as slowly as is possible without actually falling asleep, it's like the speed of thick ooze sliding across a horizontal surface. I had to put money in the 2 hr parking meter 3x during my 4th visit trying to obtain a permit for replacing steps and a porch as the original structure was literally falling off of the house. If the planner's goal was to ensure I would get a ticket, and I'm sure it was, he succeeded. I did not get out of there until 5 minutes after the no parking hours began. Also, when I finally got to see him, he wore his sunglasses the whole time. Yep, non-prescription-cheap-ass-drugstore sunnies worn purely for the aim of intimidating me. He wanted to see architect's drawings that would cost more than the damn porch. He wanted it constructed beyond code to, in his words, withstand a semi crashing into it. (because the chances of one crashing through the freeway wall and across 4 blocks up my driveway and into the porch are so high, of course). The picayune pettiness of his demands were mind-warping. All this agony because I dared to improve a derelict house in a dangerous area. Ha! Whatever gave me the idea I could get away with it! How about using your abusive power plays on the guy in Utah who owns the condemned house next door? I know he hasn't been paying his taxes, getting any permits, or showing up for housing court.
Wow, chuffed to say the least. it's truly an honour to be mentioned in this list. Love to all WRUW listeners, especially mine, of course. xxx demonica (the broad of Across the Broad)
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