Before anyone attacks the choices of a great man, or any other human being, who is dying of a terrible disease, please complete the following checklist FIRST:
1. Kick a puppy down a flight of stairs or elevator shaft.
2. Visit terminal hospital ward, scream at patients for Not Dying Right.
3. Park in handicap spot, spring out of car with running shoes, lycra shorts and scoff at miffed onlookers.
4. Stand next to mall Santa, use bullhorn to break the news to all the children.
5. Put Starbucks cup down before flipping off the student or elderly driver. Remember: 10 and 2.
6. Re-watch old home movies of you lecturing your leashed kids at Geauga Lake. Good times.
7. Torture another animal. Set another fire.
8. Dress up, attend funerals of strangers, harass grieving relatives, complain about free buffet..
9. Look in mirror, keep telling yourself that you're a great person.
10. Rinse and Repeat.
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