Fulwood Watch: Scene and Heard: Scene's News Blog, Cleveland Scene

Sam Fulwood Strikes Back

Erich Burnett — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 13:13:34 -0400

For the first time since he was hired as a Plain Dealer Metro columnist seven years ago, Sam Fulwood III has expressed a coherent opinion: Editor Doug Clifton is mean. Clifton did his best last week to make Fulwood's "reassignment" to the Arts & Life section not seem like what it was.…

PD dumps Sam Fulwood's column. Cleveland weeps.

Pete Kotz — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 15:47:29 -0400

C-Notes is pleased to report — and yet somehow deeply saddened — that Sam Fulwood III, The Laziest Man in Journalism� and the newspaper industry's career leader in irrelevance, has been stripped of his duties as a Plain Dealer Metro columnist. Folks at The PD say Fulwood will stay with the paper but will no longer occupy his prime B-1 real estate.…

Sammy searches for a metaphor in the snow

Pete Kotz — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 15:18:49 -0400

We Read America's Worst Columnist, Sam Fulwood III, So You Don't Have To Headline: Snow uncovers regional needs Date: April 10, 2007 Topic: After his 1,328th column on regionalism last week, you probably figured Sammy would return to his roots — perhaps a heart-warming tale of an NBA player who wears shoes from Value City. But just to keep things interesting, Sammy decided to switch it up on us . . .…

Sammy's take on regionalism is a nail-biter!

Pete Kotz — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 12:09:24 -0400

We Read America's Worst Columnist, Sam Fulwood III, So You Don't Have To Headline: Tough talk that's worth repeating Date: April 3, 2007 Topic: Last Thursday PD reporter Joe Guillen covered a speech by Forest City honcho Sam Miller, during which the rich old codger touted "regionalism" as the only way to save Northeast Ohio. Miller called us all "confused" and "apathetic" for paralyzing the region by not working together.…

Sammy III: Our hero finds a new colleague to steal from!

Pete Kotz — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 18:05:21 -0400

We Read America's Worst Columnist, Sam Fulwood III, So You Don't Have To... Headline: A wake-up shout for a troubled city Date: March 29, 2007 Topic: As reported two days earlier by City Hall reporter Susan Vinella, Sam writes that black members of Cleveland's City Council are tired of being blamed for everything. He then rattles off all of Cleveland's problems, because nothing fills up 500 words faster.…

Fulwood Watch: Tales of Sam's TV

Pete Kotz — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 13:06:06 -0400

We Read America's Worst Columnist, Sam Fulwood III, So You Don't Have To Headline: Old TV triumphs in Madness month Date: March 20, 2007 Topic: After Sam's last column, in which he took a county judge to task for acquitting a racist cop, PD editors were concerned. They feared Sam was dangerously close to becoming relevant.…

Sammy Gets Totally Street!

Pete Kotz — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 14:18:54 -0500

We Read America's Worst Columnist, Sam Fulwood III, So You Don't Have To Headline: Justice denied interracial couple Date: March 8, 2007 Topic: Sammy writes about the acquittal of Cleveland cop William Forrest — a.k.a. Notorious White Guy -- who was charged with inciting a 2005 fight with Aric Jackson — Unnotorious Black Computer Geek — at the Castlebar, a West Park cop joint ["Love and Hate," February 1, 2006]. It seems Forrest, fellow cop Pete Turner, and the bar's owner weren't happy that Jackson showed up with his white girlfriend and her cousin.…

Fulwood Discovers Research

Pete Kotz — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 17:55:47 -0500

We Read Sam So You Don't Have To Headline: Newfound brother asks, "Who am I?" Date: March 6, 2007 Topic: Sam marvels at the cunning and ingenious research techniques of Anita Poindexter, who was trying to track down her biological brother. The techniques, all foreign to Sam, include searching the Internet, using the telephone, and knocking on doors.…

Sam Discovers Friendship!

Pete Kotz — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:21:00 -0500

We Read America's Worst Columnist, Sam Fulwood III, So You Don't Have To... This week's episode: Sam learns that some humans share a bond that's deeper than any he's ever known. Incredibly, people actually spend time together, he finds, because they like each other. Headline: Police heap praise on a good friend Date: February 20, 2007 Topic: In the wake of his triumphant series exonerating Frank Jackson from any part in the city's larcenous Kinsman land deal — well, at least as far as he and an 84-year-old with a bad ticker are concerned — you'd think Sam would be exhausted.…

Fulwood Defends His Hero

Pete Kotz — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:36:26 -0500

We Read America's Worst Columnist, Sam Fulwood III, So You Don't Have To... This week's episode: Sam refuses to believe that one of his role models isn't such a role model after all. Headline: Hizzoner wouldn't lie, would he? Date: February 13, 2007 Topic: Sammy finds a creative new angle on the shady Kinbess-CMHA deal, in which then-Councilman Frank Jackson helped a developer secure public money for an industrial park, then switched course and allowed it to be bought by the county for a wildly inflated price — a deal Jackson now claims he simply forgot about. Sure it looks bad, says Sammy, but he has inside sources who tell a different story.…

Sam Discovers Role Models!

Pete Kotz — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 15:57:57 -0500

Headline: Actor proved equality is possible Date: February 6, 2007 Topic: Long before Sam learned to crib from his peers, he was memorizing television dialogue. This incredible power of imitation wowed teachers, who somehow never suspected he was turning in other students' homework.…

Sam Sets New Low for Originality!

Pete Kotz — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 14:48:35 -0500

We Read Fulwood So You Don't Have To... Headline: Who really cares about black teens? Date: January 25, 2007 Topic: Someone at The Plain Dealer did some actual work this week, and it wasn't Sam. Luckily for Fulwood, he's shameless when it comes to ripping off his colleagues.…

Sammy Discovers Juvenile Crime!

Pete Kotz — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 15:44:34 -0500

We Read Sam Fulwood III So You Don't Have To... Headline: Juvenile justice needs an overhaul Date: January 23, 2007 Topic: Echoing the paper's lead Sunday story, Sam writes that Ohio's juvenile justice system needs an overhaul. He's not sure how to do that, but he thinks it should involve marching on the state capitol with torches, because how cool would that be?…

Guest Columnist: Martin Luther King!

Erich Burnett — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 10:17:23 -0500

FULWOOD WATCH: We Read Sam So You Don't Have To Headline: Dr. King confronts the cynicism of '07 Date: January 16, 2007 Topic: Martin Luther King Day means a day off for many Americans, and that rankles Sam. He's rankled that we spend the day honoring the fallen civil-rights leader and rankled that it happens just once a year.…

Sam Discovers Unemployment!

Pete Kotz — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 14:51:42 -0500

FULWOOD WATCH: We Read Sam So You Don't Have To Headline: Charley's waitress forced to start anew Date: January 11, 2007 Topic: After watching several dozen of his newspaper colleagues accept early retirement checks and pack up their desks, Sam discovers that some people don't have cushy column writing jobs and must work for a living. At least one of those people is a waitress named Linda Paparosa.…

Sammy Proves Cleveland Is Cleve-Lame!

Pete Kotz — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 22:47:05 -0500

Fulwood Watch: We Read America's Worst Columnist So You Don't Have To Headline: Injecting humor into Clevelanders Date: January 4, 2007 Topic: Smarting from last month's botched attempt to explain humor, Sam challenged Cleveland to prove it knows funny better than he does. After returning from vacation on Monday, he cuts and pastes 14 reader e-mails, types thirty-eight quotation marks, then files his column two hours late, calling it day.…

Life Without Fulwood: Day 14

Pete Kotz — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 16:31:54 -0500

Cleveland has suffered many losses as of late. First, there was the untimely passing of Gerald Levert.…

Sam Lectures Cleveland about Thin Skin

Pete Kotz — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 16:37:02 -0500

Fulwood Watch: We Read America's Worst Columnist So You Don't Have To! In this episode, Sam Fulwood III explains what makes humor funny. Headline: Poor Cleveland can't take a joke? Date: December 19, 2006 Topic: Sam saw a story about satirical Cleveland holiday cards and decides to follow up. Finding that Clevelanders are feeling insulted, he decides to engender good will by talking down to them.…

Sammy Backpedals on Bold Tops Declaration

Pete Kotz — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 16:16:04 -0500

We Read Sam So You Don't Have To: This week, The Trey Once Again Discovers that Printing His Email is Way Easier than Writing! Headline: Column was Tops in complaints Date: December 14, 2006 Topic: After briefly considering writing a real column (okay, so it was on Dennis Kucinich's presidential bid, but that's kinda real, isn't it?), Sam checks his email and finds that his incompetence has once again yielded enough angry emails to scrape together a follow-up, this time on readers' hatred of Tops.…

Sam weeps for the loss of Tops

Pete Kotz — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 16:46:43 -0500

We read Sam Fulwood III So You Don't Have To... Headline: Demise of Tops has no upside Date: December 12, 2006 Topic: The Tops supermarket chain is leaving Cleveland, so Sam visits an empty grocery story and wails as if the city was ravaged by Katrina. Originality: 4/10.…

Fulwood Watch: Sam discovers that people get old

Pete Kotz — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 13:15:18 -0500

Headline: Daddy's just fine; how are your folks? Date: December 5, 2006 Topic: Tre's dad ("The Deus") is getting old, and Sammy is feeling pangs of guilt because he doesn't visit him enough in North Carolina. Solution: write about him from afar.…

Sammy III once again does battle with race

Pete Kotz — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 18:20:06 -0500

Headline: Celebrity leeches feed on lazy nation Date: November 28, 2006 Topic: Sam Fulwood III, The Laziest Columnist in America (TM), accuses America of being lazy when he takes on last week's most obvious column fodder: The O.J. Simpson and Michael Richards cases. In this episode, the master argues that both cases aren't really about America's race problem, then goes on to say how they relate to America's race problem.…

Sammy Weeps for the PD's Downsized!

Pete Kotz — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 18:19:46 -0500

Headline: Colleagues leaving the saddest news Date: November 15, 2006 Topic: This week, Sam laments the loss of staff as The PD goes through layoffs. He launches by cribbing an old poem, then tries to compare the buyouts of his cubemates to the trench warfare of World War I. In between we're ambushed by another mortar shell — the loss of Sam's journalistic innocence...…

Fulwood fumbles the political football

Pete Kotz — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 19:24:16 -0500

Headline: Cheer up, GOP, this, too, shall pass Date: November 9, 2006 Topic: Fulwood gloats about the election results in a letter to Republicans, pretending to feel their pain. Originality: 1/10.…

Fulwood Watch: Sammy at the Polls!

Erich Burnett — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 15:10:51 -0500

Headline: Scouting Ohio's new voter ID law Date: November 2, 2006 Topic: After a federal judge ruled to uphold Ohio's law requiring absentee voters to present identification, Sam himself decides to test the county's resolve by voting absentee. He marches down to the board of elections, hoping to find poll workers swatting away voters like flies.…