All Hair and Hot Air 

Letters published June 23, 2004

All Hair and Hot Air
Ambush news, another "reality" show:
I came across the article "Must-Flee TV" [May 19] while doing research. A close friend had an unfortunate experience with these nasty reporters blowing hot air and chasing people relentlessly. I found your article hilarious and unfortunately very truthful. I forwarded it to my friend as advice for future harassment from Duane Pohlman.

"Investigative reporter" Pohlman has totally butchered a story about a demolished home in Akron and continues to drag it out. Frankly, I don't think anyone cares, except for Pohlman. What I want to know is why is Surfboy Pohlman such a jerk? Pohlman takes his job too far when he chases you down in his car and follows you to your home and confronts you in your yard when you are no longer on the clock. There is something terribly wrong with this bitter man.

Channel 5's motto is "On Your Side." They should rewrite their motto to "On Duane Pohlman's Side." That is the only thing he reports: his side of the story, not the truth and not the entire story.

Jane Allen

Not Funny
City and world go from bad to worse:
I agree wholeheartedly with Michael Skeritt [Letters, "An Unkind Cut," June 2]. The insufferably self-righteous This Modern World (typical Free Times fare) has absolutely no place in Scene. I can only surmise that the reason it's included is that Scene was saddled with a contractual obligation when it took over the original Free Times.

The City isn't much better. I've followed Derf ever since he wrote for the old Cleveland Edition nearly 15 years ago, and I've noticed him becoming increasingly mean-spirited and self-satisfied. His once-biting wit is long gone, replaced by political clichés and demeaning stereotypes. His trademark character, White Middle Class Suburban Man, is little more than an updated Polack. Apparently syndication went to his head.

Bring back the Book of Sick and The Progress Brothers! Those cartoons were far more subversive and entertaining than any of the so-called "alternative" comics.

John Carlino

Vocabulary and Luke
Now he's titular: I'd like to thank the "titular" film reviewer Luke Y. Thompson ["Harry Goes Scary," June 2] for the grammar lesson. Can you please tell me if I've used the word correctly? Thank you.

Chris Kellar

The $350K Solution
Things should only be so simple:
In response to Chris Maag's article "Power! Money! Sex!" [May 26] on regionalism: In the case of the schools, no matter how much money they get, the less they seem to have. They have taken actual education out of the schools and put in its place socialist programs, such as outcome-based education and school-to-work. That's why you have 10-year-olds obsessed with sex rather than reading. Let's solve Cleveland's school-funding problem right now and fire Barbara Byrd-Bennett. Her more than $350,000-a-year salary would take care of everything.

Maag's article gave away the real purpose for regionalism: to bring us further under globalism. Joe Roman said that our government is "dysfunctional." The reason it's dysfunctional is that it no longer abides by the Constitution. Our current government at all levels really took off under FDR and continues to strangle us with its international claws. What's the real solution? How about a return to our constitutional republic?

A.P. Magee

Can't Be the Cannabis
Taking aim at the pot shots:
Fun review of Reefer Madness ["Joint Efforts," May 26]. But you seem to be blaming cannabis for problems likely caused by alcohol.

I have smoked regularly for around 20 years now. I've never met a long-term cannabis user -- who regularly uses only cannabis -- who has any problem forming complete and rational thoughts. Alcohol is a completely different matter. This is a substance that achieves its effects on the mind by actually poisoning it. Studies have shown that THC (cannabis's active ingredient) is less toxic to humans than water is.

Perhaps these "multi-decade users" you all know might also have a hankerin' for the hooch! Don't get me wrong, moderation in anything is key. Besides, if you smoke too much pot, you'll just run into a built-in safety catch -- smoking yourself sober.

Responsible Cannabis User

A Subjective Subject
It's a perspective thing, we hear:
D.X. Ferris's review of the Stagedoor Johnnies album Scenes From the Town [Regional Beat, June 2] struck me as odd. First of all, he states that the Stagedoor Johnnies opened for Jim Breuer at the Phantasy last month. They didn't. The comedy group Last Call Cleveland did. I know; I was at the show.

Also -- and this is the weird part -- he states that the album sounds as if "it were recorded on a boombox." Huh? My friends and I thought maybe the reviewer had not heard much indie music. Then it hit me: D.X. Ferris didn't even listen to this album! If you've heard it, you know that the recording quality is not "boombox" level -- not unless you can do multilayered background vocals on a boombox.

It's great that Scene is helping to promote a wonderful hometown group that is way ahead of its time, but next time it would be even better if the reviewer actually listened to the album. After all, Scenes From the Town isn't a comedy album at all -- which Ferris would know, if he'd actually played it once!

Michael Porter


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