A man keeps an ax on his front porch and threatens to cut off his young neighbors' heads if they don't stop bouncing a ball into his yard. A woman gets a beheaded, ketchup-drenched teddy bear in the mail. A man eats leaves off trees in front of a car dealership and tells cops he's testing them for poison. Whether Lakewood is truly Cleveland's most bizarre suburb or reporter Roger Vozar just has an eye for this sort of thing, Lakewood Sun Post readers can count on being treated to the Cleveland area's most entertaining weekly police blotter. All the suburban Sun papers have police reports, but most stick to boring lists of misdemeanors like thefts from cars. Vozar, with a dry wit, mixes the occasional one-paragraph News of the Weird gem into long lists of petty complaints that illuminate the true nature of police work in the 'burbs: callers annoyed about skateboarders, grass clippings in a driveway, and kids climbing a tree.