1:30 a.m.: The bartender cuts you off. Stumbling out of the john waving your wand all over the place, demanding another shot of tequila or else, was the last straw. But you couldn't help yourself. Playing "Roadhouse Blues" on the jukebox 23 times in a row makes a man feel invincible and free. On a Tuesday night, in a bar with four patrons, you're on top of the world.
2:15 a.m.: You're back home . . . pissing all over your Doors records. You blame the Lizard King for no more tequila fun-time. Afterward, however, you stumble across a dusty bottle of Pepe Lopez Gold in your sock drawer. Of course, Morrison Hotel is lying on the living-room floor, soaked in urine. That means no "Roadhouse Blues." So you crank Handful, the new reissue of Betty's 1971 LP. It's the perfect stand-in: The cover sports a pair of tattooed hands squeezing sweet ass, and the singer, like a true Californian, sounds exactly like Morrison. Hell, he even coos, "Sweet loving woman, you know what I need" and "You better stop your lowdown ways" on five or six songs that all sound just like "Roadhouse Blues." But that's cool because the Doors rule — and so does Betty.
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