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Crime University 

Akron can't keep the bad guys out of its dorms.

The last time Punch checked in with the University of Akron, it had just hired a man indicted on rape charges to be a residential assistant in its dorms ["Perv in the House," September 13].

Stanley Smith's questionable hiring came just after the school had endured serious scrutiny for the death of Charles Plinton. Plinton was a graduate student living in the dorms when Akron police placed informant Richard Dale Harris in a room next door to rat out drug dealers. Since Harris was being paid by the rat, he lied to police, claiming that Plinton had tried to sell him marijuana. Though Plinton was acquitted, the school still suspended him. He later committed suicide.

But it appears that the university is still rolling out the welcome mat for bad guys.

When Harry Collier was recently arrested for stealing a 66-year-old woman's purse, police were puzzled to discover that his address was none other than a dorm. The 45-year-old is the proud owner of multiple felony convictions, which include robbing a 70-year-old woman with a pellet gun. Not exactly the guy you want bunking with kids who still get drunk off two cans of Busch.

Collier entered Akron U. as a full-time student this year. It took him only a month to get charged with a misdemeanor for joy-riding on a school golf cart. In fact, he was on parole when the latest purse-snatching incident occurred.

His new home is the Summit County Jail.

Be nice to strippers
Scene takes pride in its back pages, where you'll find a wide selection of strippers, erotic masseuses, and shirtless men telling you to "Be Gay." Unfortunately, some of our readers, like former Euclid cop Chad Daubenmire, tend to get a little excited by the incredible merchandise.

Late one night in July of last year, Daubenmire ordered two strippers he found in Scene for a private home performance. But when they denied his request for sex, he pulled a gun and demanded a refund. The move totally harshed on what had been a pleasant romantic vibe, so the women called police.

Last week, Daubenmire was sentenced to three years in prison for kidnapping and aggravated robbery.

Let this be a lesson, dear reader. We welcome all calls to "Hardcore Hailey," "Lady Stallion," and "The Farmer's Dirty Daughter," who apparently "does it all." But, please, treat them with the kindness due the great American entrepreneur. As Assistant County Prosecutor Dave Zimmerman cautions, "They're working women. They may work in an area of entertainment that people frown upon, but that's their occupation."

We couldn't have said it better, Mr. Prosecutor.

PlayStation mania
Last Friday marked the arrival of the much-anticipated PlayStation 3 in stores across Ohio. Target in Medina promised them to the first eight people to arrive that morning. But addicts weren't about to leave these odds to chance. Starting at 3 p.m. on Wednesday, people started lining up outside the store.

One woman, who'd been planning to beeline it to Target after her shift ended at 5, got a phone call that made her quickly change plans. "My friend told me that people were already lining up," says the woman, who didn't want her name used, since she made up a fabulous excuse to bolt work early. (Editor's note: Well played, fair maiden.)

The two-night campout wasn't easy for the gang of eight. They faced heavy winds and rain. On the first night, Target wouldn't let them set up a canopy (Editor's note: Rotten bastards), so they slept in carts, with umbrellas over their heads.

Though all are religious PlayStation devotees, not one plans to keep the $600 game. They expect to get triple the purchase price on eBay. "We're going to make a killing," says Bryan Thomas.

Wanna work with him?
David Eden, Cleveland's high priest of ankle-biter journalism, is crying discrimination over being fired from his producer post at Channel 19.

Last week, the former Free Times editor filed a lawsuit claiming that he was whacked because A) he's Jewish, B) he's over 50, C) he ratted out co-workers for gambling on the job, or D) all of the above.

"You'll hear in this case how David Eden is just a horrible person. But [the station's] actions prior to this, with giving him all these job responsibilities and giving him all these accolades -- it's just not consistent with that," says Andrew Kabat, Eden's lawyer.

According to the lawsuit, Eden complained to management after hearing a producer make anti-Semitic comments, including, "You don't want to come between a Jew and his money" and "Ask Eden for the money, he is a rich Jew."

Yet Eden's lawsuit seems to take an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach. At one point, it says that "until October 2005, Eden was the only practicing Jew over age 50 in the newsroom." And the complaint vaguely implies that Eden's problems began when he tattled on co-workers for calling their bookies from work, making him the station's only practicing humorless dickwad over 50.

Channel 19 has yet to respond to the suit, but it's expected to invoke a he-just-irritated-the-shit-outta-us defense, a strategy sure to work if Eden ever testifies before a jury.

Voting their guns
As Democrats across the country bask in the glow of victory, there's another, lesser-known win being celebrated in Ohio: the triumph of guns.

According to Ohioans for Concealed Carry, the state's GPA, or "Gun Point Average," actually increased slightly after November 7. That means more people with high marks from the National Rifle Association were sent to Columbus. And it wasn't just new possum-hunting Governor Ted Strickland.

A slew of Dems endorsed by the gun lobby won, including Attorney General Marc Dann, Toledo firebrand Senator Teresa Fedor, and the head of the state Democratic Party, Representative Chris Redfern of Catawba Island.

Even liberal senator-to-be Sherrod Brown got the gun vote. Brown only won a D+ from the NRA, but that was higher than Mike DeWine's pathetic F.

So rest assured, dear reader: This is not your mother's candy-assed Democratic Party. The right to pack heat is safe, secure, and welcome at your local playground.

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