If a large plume of smoke over downtown Cleveland smells like Cheech & Chong's favorite herb, then potheads are uniting for today's Million Marijuana March. And the surname-free Laura will lead the kite-high parade of ganja smokers. "I'm a weed scientist, basically. There's never been a pot overdose. You might forget some things and maybe burn some chicken, but you're not going to get violent," she says. "It's not a gateway drug; it's a weight-gain drug." The action starts with the Weed Olympics of marijuana-fueled challenges. They include "Cotton Mouth," in which contestants stuff their mouths with cotton balls. That's followed by the self-explanatory "speed-rolling competition" and the "bong relay." "We'll be smoking right there in downtown. I don't see a problem with it, and the cops don't care," says Laura, who — bless her heart — will make a truckload of PB&J sandwiches for famished tokers. "But my lawyers will be right there to help anyone, if they need it."The march's mission is to promote pro-marijuana laws in Ohio. "It's not that Grateful Dead, hippie, tie-dyed shit anymore," says Laura. "It's a new generation of potheads." Light up at 11:30 this morning in front of Tower City on Public Square. Admission is free. Call 440-282-4420.
Sat., May 3, 11:30 a.m., 2008