Formula for Failure 

A little of everything really amounts to nothing.

Every rapper out there is trying to jump the wave of what's hot. What they don't realize is that riding all the trends trying to make albums for "everyone" is a fast pass to falling off. I don't need to hear how they got songs for the ladies, the club, the hood, and the radio. This mass-appeal approach is straight bullshit that makes for boring-ass records that sound more like a retarded Top 40 playlist than an album.

Just look at Mobb Deep and its latest garbage record. Mobb Deep blew up off solid albums that carried consistent themes and classic songs like "Shook Ones" and "Survival of the Fittest." It excelled at that dark, grimy Queensbridge style. It did not blow up off ridiculously shitty songs "made for the ladies." It should have stuck to what it did best, not songs promoting pouring champagne on yachts and being 50 Cent's testicle carriers.

Mobb Deep's downfall is just the latest failed attempt by rappers to make "accessible" records. They claim they're trying to do something interesting and experimental. But interesting does not give us shit-ass songs like E-40's Lil' Jon-produced "U and Dat." I love 40, but what the fuck is this? I can't stand the sound of T-Pain's voice, and vocoders can't cover up how stupid this thing is. I don't care how hard you're thizzing; that song sucks ass. I never thought E-40 would adopt the '80s hair-metal marketing plan for success -- a good single followed with a feeble power ballad. Hip-hop legends shouldn't be following in the footsteps of Whitesnake.

Speaking of Shorts

More by Sergio Ornelas


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