Some guys just can't get enough of Derf's White Middle Class Suburban Man. 

Whoever you are, you're as dumb as your cartoon is in Scene magazine.

Your web page probably reflects the inside of your brain and I don't mean the gray matter. I am an inner city suburban white male and I'm tired of diversity pandering to minorities and dead beats like you. If you had to really work, you couldn't pump gas at the Speedway. Don't quit your day job.


White middle class suburban man? How racist is that? With that in mind, I have some suggestions for your next series: Black Lower Class Ghetto Man, Brown Barrio Taco Man, Yellow Chinatown Chinkman, Red Poverty-Stricken Reservation Man, and Dark Third World Mud Hut Man.

Winston Smith

Generic rip, complete with obligatory toilet-paper reference!
Back in my high school and college days, I was an avid reader of Scene. As I became a family man in the '90s, I found other endeavors to occupy my time and spent less time going out in Cleveland. Hence, I stopped reading Scene for several years.

From time to time I'd pick it to see what was happening around Cleveland. I was shocked to find the level of yellow journalism being printed in the beloved Scene. It had gotten so bad that the only reason I would even take a copy of it was when I ran out of toilet paper in my outhouse! But thanks to the internet and the online version of Scene (not to mention the introduction of electricity to Madison last year), I have found a new reason to read it -- the hate mail section.

The hate mail section is the one section where truths are told, entertainment abounds and the vibe of Cleveland is truly heard! I would like to thank Scene for providing this service and encourage them to make the hate mail section front page news every day.

Scott F.

"What an idiot, and what a rag of a publication."
Your publication has Madison and its surrounding communities up in arms about the bush league article "Up in Smoke" [August 9]. So what do you do? Offer as a rebuttal a letter written by Tina Miller, putting down the good people of Madison even more. Don't bother putting your paper in the usual places in eastern Lake County. They are ending up in the trash.

Maybe all the hillbillies Tina Miller knows can use Scene to burn under their moonshine stills, or the paper can be used to catch the tobacco juice on the floors of the local taverns that all the hillbillies congregate in. What an idiot, and what a rag of a publication.


Ken Lurie's wife spares no bullets in shooting up ace reporter Lisa Rab.
Lisa, let's face it, this type of shoddy work would never be acceptable at a "real" paper. Mislabeling photographs, using half-truths, insufficient research, missing the big picture. How could you possibly be proud of your work? Do you lack the talent to make a story interesting with the full truth -- telling one snippet of any story without surrounding facts is EASY to do. What are you doing?

Be serious -- when you target Ken Lurie and Vince Ruggieri to attack in Cleveland, it's obvious that HONEST and serious investigation is not your goal. Lisa, these two guys get up every morning and work really hard with good intentions to try to make a difference. Come on, do you ever check a story FULLY?

I know you've been having fun with the half truths in the Ken Lurie series, so I thought I'd spread the joy. Here are some interesting things happening:

First, a couple professor friends at local universities are going to be using your recent articles as a model in their classes -- sorry, it represents what NOT to do in journalism. You're becoming labeled as the inadequate researcher. The students are pulling your articles and other pertinent facts and doing an analysis. They will be forwarding the class work after the study -- summer class and fall. So glad I have the Kupps connection to send the results to parents and relatives -- they certainly will be proud -- do poor homework skills run in the family?

Next, will be sending samples of the student's analysis work around to some editors. I know Scene has a negative reputation, but key editors and PR/marketing firms may be interested in a study of a local writer. Maybe the Rab "rabies" effect will become known around town -- you could become famous.

As far as the employment of Vince --- if you do a 360-degree, investigation you will find him to be an excellent employee -- really. Lisa, give it more than two seconds of your time to put together lazy reporting is not a professional quality. Ask questions, listen to the real answers and try to get something right -- like the big picture. You seem to dwell on a minute point and miss the full view. Vince is extremely committed to the company, he's knowledgable, personable, and well respected by customers and all the Rysar staff for over a decade. In my professional work with businesses, my job is to help improve employee performance. I know an outstanding employee when I see one. If you write dirt on Vince, your incompetence will show through beyond belief.

When you spend your time writing make-believe nonsense for minimum wage, it's apparent you're doing meaningless work. Selling shoes is hopefully looking better to you every day. And a lot more productive to the community.

Sunny K. Lurie, PhD
President, Advanced Performance, Inc.

Readers go ballistic over our totally special Tom Meyer investigation!
Shame on you! Anyone with half a brain can conclude that this entire story is fictional, and you don't have a single piece of legit evidence to support your claims!

I have a white door, and my best friend is black! Being of Mr. Meyer's status, he probably values his family's privacy, and chooses to have recreational activities in the back yard, protecting his family from creeps like you, who are so unhappy with their own status in life, they have to attack honest, hard working people!

And about Canada: He can probably afford to have a vacation home in Canada, because, unlike yourself, he is a credible reporter that can support his stories with hard core facts and evidence. 52 Emmys -- and you have how many?

Your statements are simply opinion, and I'm sure you know opinions are like assholes... everyone has one. Yours just seems to have consumed your thinking ability.

It sounds as if you are a bitter person, probably because you really have no clue about this type of reporting, and you feel the need to attack someone as credible as Mr. Meyer to attempt to make a name for yourself.

You have humiliated yourself and have shown what a complete psychotic idiot you are. For your sake, let's hope your real name isn't Joe Tone. God only knows if it is, you will probably have a significant lawsuit against you for defamation of character and slander.

You should take up a new career, for this one is probably about to end.


You're no Tom Meyer
I've known Tom Meyer my whole life because he's my neighbor. I've known him since I was five and I was best friends with his daughter. His son actually goes to school with me.

First of all, he doesn't live in Strongsville. Second of all, he's not racist at all. He helped coach an AAU basketball team of his daughters where there were plenty of African-Americans.

Third, he's not a sex addict. Every time I see him he's with his family or at work. He's never had "late night meetings" or ever gone to these clubs you're talking about. Oh, and guess what, THERE IS MORE THEN ONE TALL WHITE MAN NAMED TOM IN CLEVELAND.

Sweetheart, I don't know where you went to school, but perhaps you should try and get your money back because it's obvious with this article you wrote, you didn't finish high school.


Joe Tone must be gay
First, let me just say that I do believe in free speech. I also believe when you accuse someone of something, you must have proof. It is one thing to have an opinion, but it is different to make accusations. Especially accusations with no proof that will affect a man's career, personal, and private life.

Maybe Mr. Tone has more proof than he let out, but were those really Mr. Meyer's shoes under the bathroom door? Let me just say that a truly good investigative reporter would have looked over that bathroom door just to make sure.

Where's your proof about Natalee Halloway's body being buried in his Mr. Meyer's backyard? I wonder how Mr. Tone would feel about explaining that comment to Natalee's family. In fact, I hope her mom gives you a call Mr. Tone!

I just have one question I would like answered, Mr. Tone: Are you gay, hanging out in the bathroom at Bounce?


Great moments in moronic drivel
The Tom Meyer story has got to be the utmost MORONIC piece of drivel I've ever read! Your sense of humor fucking blows, and I really want my 5 minutes back! Do you not have anything interesting to write about? Fucking sheesh!

George Smythe

Did we mention that you suck?
An anonymous phone call received at Scene headquarters:

Hey man, I just read your article you wrote about Tom Meyer in Scene. What the hell is this shit, man?

You say you seen him at Bounce? How do you even have proof of that? It could've been any guy behind that stall. That there's no proof that was Tom Meyer.

Sure he may have two houses, but are you exact sure he has two families? Uh, I don't think so.

And another thing: Do you really think he has that girl buried in his backyard? Uh, no. Dude man, get your act together, man. That shit sucks. I didn't believe one word of that. The whole Bounce thing? Come on, man.

I've read your articles before, man, You can do better than that. This is like the worst article you ever did. Come on man, You can do better than that. No one can believe the Tom Meyer thing. Come on. Do better.

A few minutes later, the guy calls again:

All right, look dude, I'm sorry for what I said, but I'm just speaking how I feel about it, all right. I didn't mean to piss you off or anything. I'm sorry, but I'm just saying how I felt about it. I've read your articles before in the past. You do good articles. I just didn't like this one. I don't mean nothing by it. It's just, I'm just saying how I feel. I'm sorry.

Another anonymous call
I just read your article in the Scene magazine and I now feel I am dumber for having read it. That was the most pointless and stupidest article I've seen in here in a long time. It made no sense. Had no conclusions and really was a slam on the dude for no factual reasons. You're not a very good writer.

Drew thinks we suck -- and could use a good libel lawyer
Just thought you should know that everything you wrote in that article was complete and total bullshit ["Hush," May 17]. If Carl did what you said he did, then he deserves to be punished, but I don't believe that he did anything that you have published. I hope you have a good lawyer, lady, because I smell a slander lawsuit coming on.

Oh, and by the way, there's no way you will ever rise above the Scene magazine as a journalist because I read a couple of your other articles and they suck. Come on, the article reminds me of a tabloid magazine.


Anonymous guy doesn't like strippers -- or us
First of all, I hope you get laid writing that silly article ["Stripped Off," May 31]. Please tell me that is your motivation. Having sex with strippers is fun; they are very sexual people, by the way. You really need to get out of your shell.

As someone who used to tend bar in the Flats for years, I am sure they gave you such an objective point of view. I mean, those girls won't do anything for attention. All they do is lie to people. Most have kids that are dropped off where ever, call grandma "mom," addicted to alcohol or drugs if not both, and are simply lazy.

I understand coming from a challenging environment, which 90 percent do, they take the easy way out. One out of ten might be going to school like they tell you and will do anything for your money!!! If you wanted to write an honest article, don't tell people you work for Scene and ask questions or sit and listen, you jack off.

If she was honestly stupid enough to give some convict her money, it's nothing worse than what she does everyday. Most girls go looking for companions that remind them of their fathers in that atmosphere.

You are a waste of space and your editor sucks for putting that shit on the front page. Poor strippers. People are starving in N.O., earthquake killed thousands, government lies to you everyday, and you headline POOR STRIPPERS.

Our empathy is certainly misplaced in this country, YOU ARE A DORK!!!!!!

Sent anonymously by mdunn@bw.edu

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