Observe: nerdy chump -- forced into piano lessons by his parents and forced into garbage cans and swirling toilets by surly class bullies -- forms an ostensibly "punk" band to back up his little slices of Elton John ennui. He thumbs his nose at the bullies ("If You C Jordan"), ditches his folks for life on the road ("I Woke Up in a Car"), and casts about for his very own "Punk Rock Princess." That these guys actually played the Warped Tour is hilarious. The band's big-shot debut, Leaving Through the Window, basically rehashes Bryan Adams for the flaming-toilet-paper-tossing miscreant punk rock set. It's what discerning Anti-Flag fans throw on when they want to get sensitive, or laid. It contains not a lick of masculinity or punk ferocity. It's also great, designed for gleeful bus-ride sing-alongs similar to that "Tiny Dancer" scene in Almost Famous. Something Corporate just swapped chicken suits for baggy pants. Wouldn't you?