Hello, dear loyal readers or person who mistakenly stumbled on our site while searching for Michael Stanley wigs.
Welcome to our inaugural comedy issue.
The comedy scene here in Cleveland has been described by noted culture critics as "burgeoning," "crack-a-lackin'," "crack-a-whackin'" (see, we're already off to a roaring start), "in existence," "not horribly expensive for a distraction from the crushing economic realities of everyday life" and "slightly more watchable than the Browns."
We agree with one or more of those sentiments, which is why we decided to dedicate this issue to the humor stylings of those folks working to make sure Cleveland is moderately less depressed than it should be.
Some of the contributors enlisted to entertain you are standup comedians you might be familiar with; others are simply funny writers with less name recognition than the Norton furniture guy. Some live and work here; others long ago decided to find success and fame in cities whose beaches don't come with EPA warnings. Some chose to write about Cleveland; others chose to write about themselves, because comedians are vain and predictable. There's even a gay cowboy escort in the bunch.
The point is this: We trust them, the experts, on what is funny, and it's pretty embarrassing to call something the Comedy Issue if it's not funny, so blame them if that's the case.
Enjoy the goodness below.
Cleveland Gave Me a Boner (and Almost Killed Me): Wistful and Mostly True Remembrances of a West Coast Transplant Who Fell in Love with Cleveland by Joe Tone
Moving to Cleveland: A Guide on How to Leave Your Comfy White Suburb, Written by a White Guy Still Living With His Parents in a Comfy White Suburb by Adam Richard
The Brief, Fiery Ride of Cowboy Mike: Does Advertising in Scene Work? Hell Yeah it Does. Let Me Show You.
by Mike Polk Jr.
Greetings From New York: What's it Like for a Cleveland Comic to Make it? Glad You Asked.
by Jim Tews
Not Killing My Kids Is Hard: Confessions of a So-So Parent Just Doing the Best He Can
by Bill Squire
How to Attend a Wake: It Doesn't Have to be Such a Downer, Guys! by Dave Hill
The Heart of Rock & Roll Isn't in Cleveland: An Open Letter About Lame Music Venues That Don't Like Rock
by Zachariah Durr
Coach's Favorite: What's it Like Being the Daughter of a Legend? by Bridget Kyle
A New Boom: Cleveland's Rebirth as a (Comedy) City
by Ramon Rivas
BONUS ONLINE CONTENT NOT FOUND IN THE MAG, BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU
Believeland Version 5.0: Glad Tidings From the Future by Isa Hopkins
And Now, a Few Words From a Cat About Literature
by Dan Wilbur
12 Ways to Get Clevelanders to Share Your Article About Cleveland by Vince Grzegorek
You Want Comedy? Take a Look in Your Backyard
by Ryan Dalton
You Can’t Escape the Curse of Cleveland: It’s Not Just About Sports, People
by Chris Clem
If You Can Make ’Em Laugh in Cleveland, You Can Make ’Em Laugh Anywhere by Yusuf Ali
Toasting Cleveland’s Nuptials: A Long Overdue Best Man Speech for Our Beloved City and its Love
by Josh Womack