BOOKS -- The Areas of My Expertise/Schott's Sporting, Gaming, & Idling Miscellany: These two books take smartass chic to a new level, as John Hodgman (Expertise) and Ben Schott (Miscellany) list tons of useless info for folks to ponder in the can. While Schott's volume is crammed with sports facts -- an inventory of David Beckham's tattoos, a chart detailing Evel Knievel's injuries -- NPR's Hodgman loads his tome with randomness (a list of the worst-ever haircuts, an entire chapter on hobos). You'll laugh and learn -- all at the same time!
TV -- Flavor of Love: Ten years ago, who would have thought that Flavor Flav would be the Public Enemy member with a thriving career? The hip-hop clown with the oversized clock -- who hooked up with scary Amazonian Brigitte Nielsen on The Surreal Life -- returns to reality television with a show (premiering at 10 p.m. Sunday on VH1) revolving around his search for true love in a pack of fame-seeking women. It's sorta like The Bachelor, but with Flav. Yeah, boyeee!
BOOK -- Mozart's Women: Think the guys in Led Zeppelin were the first musicians to be "inspired" by the many women they slept with? Guess again. Jane Glover's look at the 18th-century composer reveals his proclivity for the ladies -- including a quartet of opera-singing sisters. Glover gets a bit Freudian at times (Wolfgang's mom and sister had much influence on his work), but even Tommy Lee would be proud of the way Mozart rewarded his gals by writing songs for them.
DVD -- Long Way Round: Obi-Wan Kenobi himself, Ewan McGregor, went on a 20,000-mile motorcycle ride a few years ago with pal Charley Boorman. Their adventures -- which took the pair from Europe to New York City -- were documented in a seven-episode TV series in 2004. This two-disc DVD gathers all the shows, plus unreleased footage from the trip and interviews with the longtime buds. It's the best bike ride since Captain America and Billy the Kid's fateful trip in Easy Rider.
PRODUCT -- MicroShield: It's no secret that the new iPods scratch more easily than previous models. Apple, in a typical roundabout way, even admitted as much. That's why we love XtremeMac's new clear protective case (available for both the 30GB and 60GB video iPods), which guards our player's surface while still showing off its sleek look. Now we can take "In Da Club" anywhere, without worrying that our iPod will end up like 50 Cent's bullet-scarred chest.
COURTESY FLUSH, PLEASE -- American Pie Presents Band Camp: This straight-to-DVD release, about Stifler's brother's adventures with flutes and trumpets, marks a new low in a comedy franchise that ran out of piping-hot filling about five years ago. It's basically a vehicle for jiggling bimbos and dumb sex jokes (and pity poor Eugene Levy, the only returning cast member from the original movie). We never thought we'd say it, but this makes a dick stuck in pastry seem like high art.