This morning on 90.3 WCPN's Sound of Ideas, a panel of esteemed journalists were discussing the first-year accomplishments of our great mayor, Frankie G. By the time I tuned in, they had finished outlining what I can only imagine was an illustrious list of accolades, and had moved on to pontificating about the future.
Tax abatements, the great minds said. That's the issue Jackson will tackle next year.
Somehow, I was unconvinced. So I decided to compile my own list of what we, the people, would like to see our great mayor do next year:
1. Leave City Hall.
2. Learn to speak in sentences that don't begin with the phrase "If I were paying attention."
3. Stop leaving love notes from Sam Miller lying around the office.
4. Talk to your brother, Nick. Rumor has it he's not so popular over at the school district.
5. Release that pile of public records you've been hoarding. Remember those minority-owned construction companies that were getting paid for not doing any work? Whatever happened to that investigation?
6. Try a new hairdo. Seriously, the Abe Lincoln look isn't helping your image.
7. Pay a little more attention to your land deals. Here in the Poorest City in America, we don't appreciate getting screwed by your developer pals.
8. Take a cue from your predecessor. Remember what happened when Jane Campbell spent four years doing nothing? You're on the right track, buddy. Just three more to go. — Lisa Rab