"The Superior Americans," July 18, 2007
We get loads of fawning fan mail here at Scene.
Most of it you can barely read, due the excessive lip-stick stains and water damage (tears of joy can really wilt some paper). When we can read one, we like to contact the author to confirm that he or she would like their missive printed in our letters section
, or posted in the Public Square
section of this upstanding blog. They usually faint when we call; it's not everyday you meet a literary celebrity. After that, they typically are honored to have their words printed alongside our one-of-a-kind combination of scorching prose and massage-parlor ads.
However, this gentleman -- responding to "Superior Americans,"
Jared Klaus's recent article on the illegal immigrants of Painesville -- politely declined, via email, to have his letter printed. It's almost as if he doesn't like Scene:
I live in Cleveland. As for my name, It's Mr. Goto Hell, and I live at
35701 Eat Shit Lane. As for printing my letter: No. I decline. Do not print
it. I would rather not be associated in any way with your pathetic rag.
Now, go back to reading Das Kapital. Commie.
Have a WONDERFUL day . . .
Worry not, loyal readers. We'll dispatch Klaus himself to greet this gentleman in person and discuss his momentary dissatisfaction with our newspaper ... as soon as we can locate this mysterious Eat Shit Lane. -- Joe P. Tone