While Punch has proudly been taking shots at Dennis Kucinich for years -- ever since he stole our Guy Who Hasn’t Done Shit Runs For President idea – his status as America’s Piñata™ has really taken off this year, with everyone from Letterman to John Stewart taking swings.
Most Clevelanders are perfectly comfortable with this. If only he were a viable candidate, Anderson Cooper and Brit Hume would be coming to town, prompting a 76 percent rise in the sale of hair care products, which could fund the City of Cleveland until the year 2034. Instead, Kucinich has once again turned his candidacy into a taxpayer funded tour of intimate California coastal communities.
But one ex-Clevelander is fed up. His name’s Scott Raab, and his dissenting opinion appears in the November issue of Esquire. In a lengthy profile of the West Side’s Vegan-in-Chief, the veteran journalist paints Kucinich as a legitimate workingman’s hero, and even finds someone totally straight-jacket-less to call Kucinich an almost-legit contender: Hardball host Chris Matthews, who says Kucinich just might be “the Cinderella candidate.”
For the record, Raab tells Punch from his home in New Jersey, “I understand the whole Demented Elf take.” But he’s grown tired of watching Cleveland cut itself like a troubled teenager. “It just fucking eats its own,” he says, “and Dennis is a perfect example. Kucinich, for better and for worse, decided, This is me, This is who I am, This is where I am, and in exchange for that, The Plain Dealer, the Scene, and everyone else treats him like he’s a total fucking piece of shit.”
Punch was on the verge of feeling bad about this, until Raab copped to the fact that, well, he might be dead wrong: “I’m like every other Clevelander you’ll run into: I’ve got a lot of bitching to do, and whether or not it makes any sense is up to someone else. I’m fucking nuts.”
Nonetheless, “It’s Kucinich Time!” is an amusing read, and should be on newsstands this week – that is, if the Demented Elf doesn’t buy them all up. Christmas is coming, after all, and he’ll need something to gift-wrap those 8x10s of himself. – Joe Tone