Friday, December 28, 2007

Dennis Kucinich: The Official Candidate of Pizza Hut

Posted By on Fri, Dec 28, 2007 at 3:22 PM

Congressman Dennis Kucinich may lack any real political endorsements. But when it came time for Pizza Hut to pick the best presidential candidate to appear in its new commercial, there was never any question. The ad splices together soundbites from the different candidates. When the announcer says, “Are people seeing lower prices now?” the commercial cuts to Dennis saying, “More people in this country have seen UFOs.” Of course, the ad has outraged Kucinich supporters, who are angry that Pizza Hut would focus on the little guy’s belief in extra-terrestrials, instead of touting his work on behalf of imporant issues, like writing press releases and spending public money to vacation in Hawaii. “That’s fucking unfair,” writes one blogger on Wonkette. “That fattie Bill Richardson is clearly behind this.” Yet while Bill Richardson’s figure clearly exhibits a devotion to pepperoni, Pizza Hut officials claim there was no harm intended. “We found humor in his comment,” a company flak told The Plain Dealer. Besides, showing Kucinich babbling about his universal healthcare proposal in an ad for pizza just wouldn’t make any sense, now would it. – Jared Klaus

More Indictments for the Fine Employees at Rysar Properties

Posted By on Fri, Dec 28, 2007 at 3:12 PM

Last year, we introduced you to some of the upstanding employees at Rysar Properties. As the biggest home builder in Cleveland, the company liked to brag about its stellar team. But at least two of those team members, Vince Ruggieri and Ed Tekieli, had admitted to being involved in a scheme to defraud the feds [“Man With a Past,” June 28, 2006]. A third, Otis Bevel Jr., had twice pleaded guilty to defrauding mortgage lenders. He was actually hired fresh from the slam. Now it appears he’s returned to his old ways…

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Reader: Finally Putting an End to Nelson Cintron's Vendetta

Posted By on Fri, Dec 28, 2007 at 2:49 PM

On December 18, the voters of Ward 14 clearly and convincingly showed their good judgment (with 60% of the vote) in rejecting the recall of Councilman Joe Santiago. This wholly unnecessary election was the result of one disgruntled former office holder. It cost the voters of Cleveland some $47,000, or about $40 for each vote cast. If it had been successful, it would have cost the city more than $50,000 to hold a special election...

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Vince's Friday Sports Roundup

Posted By on Fri, Dec 28, 2007 at 2:01 PM

Browns Those rumors about Romeo Crennel going to the Dolphins just won’t die. ProFootballTalk.com first reported that Bill Parcells has Romeo on the top of his head coach wish list to replace the soon-to-be-fired Cam Cameron. Of course, Romeo is under contract and can’t leave willy nilly without the Browns’ permission. And if they did let him go, they’d probably want to be compensated handsomely by the Dolphins with cash or draft picks. Decent profile on Derek Anderson on ESPN.com with the usual puffy backstory about him growing up in a small town and coming out of nowhere. Most interesting tidbit: Anderson is childhood friends with Sara Jean Underwood, Playboy’s Playmate of the Year for 2007. What’s with Cleveland quarterbacks and hot Playboy models? Where’s the love for the long snapper? Good news out of Indianapolis for Browns fans, where Marvin Harrison practiced after an injury forced him to miss 10 games. With the Colts wanting to get Harrison back into some kind of playing form before the playoffs start, Sunday will be their last chance to get him some game action. That should mean more playing time for Peyton Manning, and hopefully, a better chance for a Colts win...

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Money Where Your Mouth Is: Lifted

Posted By on Fri, Dec 28, 2007 at 1:53 PM

The Music Department hasn't been heard from since Scene's raucous Christmas party at Chuck E. Cheese's. So we'll let Michigan's Lifted explain why you need to see the modern-rock band. Band: Lifted Hometown: Flint/Lansing, MI Sounds like: "Hard rock/metal with melodic vocals." Recommend for fans of: "Breaking Benjamin/Chevelle/Tool." Fun fact: "We are all a family (literally), and we are a crazy good time, so come hang out with us!" Playing: Friday, Dec. 28th at the Green Room (200 S. Depeyster St., 330-677-1904, Kent). And Saturday, December 29 at Verlie's Cafe (W. 46th St. and Storer Ave., Cleveland, 216-651-5713) Why you need to see them: "We bring it 100% everytime we play; you will not be disappointed in our show! Plus, we love meeting new people so come on out." -- Dan, lead singer/guitarist

Thursday, December 27, 2007

O'Brien Factor: Kevin Discovers that Politicians May Be Shameless (We Think)

Posted By on Thu, Dec 27, 2007 at 5:12 PM

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We read Kevin O'Brien so you don't have to ... Column: Candidates' Christmas ads, brought to you by elves and. . . saboteurs? December 26, 2007 Topic: The presidential candidates’ Christmas commercials airing in Iowa and New Hampshire. Kevin's Sanity Level Today: 4 percent What Your Head Would Feel Like if You Read it Yourself: Imagine getting your face stuffed down the garbage disposal, then having some rats chew on the remains while they discuss the treasury bond market. Charting Kevin's Logic: 1. Kevin’s the kind of guy who reads all the political blogs and uses words like “traction” and “sea change.” 2. Unfortunately, he assumes you’re like that too, even though you’d prefer to be repeatedly stabbed in the testicles with a Phillips screwdriver. 3. So he actually went to YouTube to see the commercials the presidential candidates are airing in Iowa and New Hampshire over the holidays. 4. Sadly, now he wants to tell you about them. 5. Kevin has completely left the planet on this one, so we’re not sure what the hell he’s talking about. But Fred Thompson apparently thanks the troops. Mike Huckabee seems to be using a cross in his commercial, though it might just be a bookshelf. For some reason Rudy Giuliani is talking about “strict-constructionist judges” with Santa. But the worst commercials, naturally, come from Hillary Clinton, who is addressing “universal health care” and “alternative energy,” which Kevin thinks is Devil talk. 6. WTF? 7. Final conclusion: Kevin seems to now believe that politicians are shameless.

Gasp! Reporters Reveal More Swearing in Attorney General's Office

Posted By on Thu, Dec 27, 2007 at 4:37 PM

Ever since TV cameras in Youngstown caught Marc Dann telling a newspaper reporter to “go f*%k himself” last summer, the media has had a strange obsession with the Ohio Attorney General. It’s hard blame them. Considering most politicians speak as passionately as the guy who writes instruction manuals for Maytag – see the current roster of presidential candidates – someone who actually speaks like a human is rather unusual. Last month, Dayton Daily News reporter Laura Bischoff filed a public records request for every office e-mail sent by Dann since he took office. Youngstown Vindicator reporter David Skolnick followed up by requesting all of the emails on Dann’s Yahoo account. Unfortunately for the eager reporters, the attorney general seems to save his best cussing for in-person interviews. Other than one instance where Dann used the term “MF’er,” and another in which he compared the crucifixion of Christ to receiving bad press, the stories were about as salacious as grandma’s zucchini bread. The constant press was especially frustrating for Dann’s communications director, Leo Jennings. “I don’t get the point,” Jennings told Scene last month. “If Marc Dann gets frustrated and says Goddamnit, it shouldn’t be the focus of the media for four days.” Yet now Jennings himself is the target of the profanity police. The Dayton Daily News recently revealed an e-mail from Jennings to Steve Lamantia, the former head of the Bureau of Criminal Investigation, who had angered Jennings by going around him to another AG spokesperson with details of the death of a Summit County Jail inmate. “Steve, the fact that you thought you could go around me to Jennifer Brindisi shows what an absolute &*^%%&& incompetent insubordinate moron you really are. You’ve completely botched this. I know it, you know [it], and everyone else is going to know it, you coward. If you have something to say to me, call me and say it to me you *&^%$. Leo.” Jennings has since been reprimanded by Dann for the outburst. From now on, all profanity-laced meltdowns must be made in person. – Jared Klaus

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