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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Joe Borowski sent to DL with serious case of not being very good

Posted By on Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 1:54 PM

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If you’ve ever read the comments under stories on the Plain Dealer website, you know that this is not a forum for harmonious discussion. For the most part, the commenters like to rant, make thinly-veiled threats against each other, and be shockingly racist. But since last night, for the first time ever, it seems the commenters have finally agreed on something: Joe Borowski has got to go. ... Our own deranged sports writer, it turns out, isn’t the only Clevelander who’d love to see this guy taken behind a barn and shot, metaphorically speaking (or perhaps not). After Borowski’s other blown save this season, the PD forum’s resident ranters were split: some wanted him, and every piece of Indians equipment he’s touched, thrown into Lake Erie. Others—people apparently overcome by loyalty, and the strangely prevalent desire to keep the team exactly the way it was in ’07, even though the Tribe ended up watching the World Series at home—wanted to keep the 83 MPH Man as closer. It seems that their grace period lasted exactly one blown save. After the PD reported last night’s game, almost every poster agreed, and Cleveland sports fans are well-practiced in expressing despair and frustrated rage: “Joe Borowski is the worst thing to happen to Cleveland baseball,” writes one. “Borowski is a total loser,” writes another. “He must be hurt,” reasons a dumbfounded poster. “He can't be that bad. Is he? An 83 MPH fastball?” “A one-armed blind man could have hit the pitch he grooved to Manny!!!” says one suicide watch candidate. “I sure hope we don't need the two games that Losekowski has given away!! I'm just SPENT!!!” And our award for Best Scandalous Inference comes courtesy of pundit azbuckeye79: “If wedge doesnt make a change maybe we should start asking who does jobo bl*w.” Well, Cleveland, your prayers have been answered. We’ve just received word that Borowski’s been placed on the 15-day DL with a “strained triceps.” Which sounds a little made up to us — unfortunately, there’s no injury called “Were we drunk when we re-signed this guy?”— but hey, we’ll take it. – Gus Garcia-Roberts
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