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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Porn for the Blind: Hot XXX action for the seeing impaired

Posted By on Thu, Apr 24, 2008 at 2:13 PM

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The website offers poetry of the flesh in strict anatomical terms.
Ever since former Ohio Attorney General Jim Petro cracked down on one of the few sources of entertainment for blind people two years ago, Northeast Ohio’s visually-impaired have suffered a sad lack of information. For 30 years, Akron’s Written Communications Radio Service read everything from breaking news to grocery store ads over the airwaves so that the blind could hunt for jobs and get two-for-one bags of spinach just like the rest of us… Run mostly by volunteers, the station largely survived off the money it raised at bingo games. But that all changed in 2006, when Petro accused the station of misappropriating funds and holding an illegal bingo license. Petro never actually found the station guilty of anything, but revoked its license nonetheless. When you’re the Laziest Man in Law Enforcement ™, you gotta take what you can get. But without it’s funding, WCRS was forced off the air. Since then, blind folk have had to get creative. One can only listen to Carl Monday bust kids for jerking off in libraries so many times. That’s where pornfortheblind.org comes in. According to the website, Porn For The Blind is “a not-for-profit organization dedicated to producing audio descriptions of sample movie clips from adult web sites.” The service is free of charge, offering descriptive readings of such cinema classics as “Cum Overload” and “Mom’s Anal Adventure!” (We didn’t add that exclamation point – it’s actually part of the title.) While the readings don’t include any, ahem, local news, there’s quite a bit to be learned from the audio clips, which add a humorously clinical tone to searing dramas like “MILF Soup.” Volunteers are required to refer to body parts using “only proper anatomical language,” which results in lines like “She is licking the shaft of the penis... she is mostly focusing on the head of the penis.” Who knew XXX action could be so sanitary? The site is always in search of volunteer readers, reminding us that “there's a lot of pornography on the Internet, and knowing where to start can be daunting.” To make your selfless act as easy as possible, the site hosts an easy online recorder for volunteers, plus a template script to guide you. It even suggest porn sites to help get you started. – Denise Grollmus

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