The Latest Sign of Impending Doom:
Jay-Z is finally getting in on the whole LeBron v. DeShawn duel
, which, it turns out, is good for LeBron but bad for your ears. You’ll recall, if you’re as bored as us, that after Wizards chucker DeShaun Stevenson called LeBron “overrated,” LeBron responded by comparing himself to Jay-Z and Stevenson to Soulja Boy, to which Stevenson responded by bringing Soulja Boy to Washington to sit in the front row for the series. Superman that
, ho! ...
Well, now Jay-Z has spit a rhyme apparently fueled by the trash-talking, which he raps over a club track called “Blow the Whistle” by Too Short. You can listen to it here
, although if you're a fan of Hova's, we don't recommend it. The gist of Mr. Beyonce’s verbal barbs: Deshawn is a nobody, LeBron is the man, and Jay-Z now raps with the lyrical sophistication of those annoying kids who always tried to rap at parties in high school.
How it Went Down in Cleveland’s Mind:
“It was one thing for LeBron and Jigga Man to just be friends – chowing down when they’re together, sipping King Louis in the V.I.P. section of the club, and generally acting like royalty. Now this their relationship is getting serious. Jay-Z didn’t just stand back and let LeBron take care of himself; he got involved and made sure the world know that he had LeBron’s back while simultaneously letting the world know that they are the two coolest people around. Plus, he called him his 'nigga,' which we're pretty sure is code for, ‘Yo, the Nets are gonna sign you for, like, three gazillion next summer, so don’t hurt yourself with these silly Cavs guys.’
We’re so hosed.”
The LeBron James Threat Level is: