Plus, after the jump: Add Scalabrine to the list of guys you don't want to see shirtless.
Watching this Celtics-Cavs series on TV, you probably only noticed Brian Scalabrine if you have Godlike HD. That’s ‘cause the painfully redheaded center isn’t eligible to play. Instead, he prowls the bench area in an ill-fitting suit, Boston’s doppelganger to our Lance Allred.
But Scalabrine’s been blowing up the internet-sports-junkie circuit. You know, the guys that refresh their browser on Deadspin.com every six minutes and spend three hours isolating for Youtube the moment that Lebron tells his mom to “Sit yo’ ass down!”
That’s because, on the heels of the Cavs-Wizards Round 1, in all its ridiculous Jay-Z vs. Soulja Boy glory, Brian Scalabrine’s got a LeBron diss track out. ...
Well, not actually Scalabrine, if you wanna get technical about it. “Scal Says,” which spoofs Pharoahe Monch’s “Simon Says,” features some guy named Skeets rapping as Scalabrine. And while we have no idea who Skeets is, and refuse to Google him, we’re guessing he’s some Boston shock jock who’s at one time or the other got a donkey drunk on the air. Whoever he is, he trumps the Jiggaman’s Deshawn Stevenson diss
-- as much as we don’t want to, we find this kind of funny. Listen to it here
. -- Gus Garcia-Roberts
Yo, Brian: Put a shirt on!
Nicknamed “Veal” during his days with the New Jersey Nets, Scalabrine was recently described by navel-gazing rock writer Chuck Klosterman as the “least intimidating athlete” he’s ever met.
So it was with some surprise that, Saturday afternoon, hours before Game 3’s tipoff, C-Notes spotted Scalabrine walking by the Hard Rock Café, shirtless. C-Notes was not close enough to tell if the wallpaper matched the drapes, but, given Cleveland’s dearth of 7-foot redheads, we were pretty sure it was him.
Later, we tracked down Scalabrine to confirm that his public chest-bearing was indeed an intimidation tactic. But Scalabrine balked at the notion; apparently the bare midriff was just an attempt to get the most out of a sunny day. “I was getting’ my Vitamin D,” he said. – Caleb Hannan