As you're probably aware, being a writer is the toughest job in America. Though we get free coffee, it's that kind they served at Texaco stations in 1981. Worse, sometimes the boss looks at you weird if you take more than four smoke breaks in an hour.
Thankfully, at the end of a grueling day of shooting off your mouth, you can always take solace in the constant downpour of appreciation from readers. Take this little missive from Mike in Liverpool, New York, complimenting us on our take on his favorite band, Heavy Heavy Low Low:
If we weren't so preoccupied with felatio, says reader, we'd understand the virtues of this band.
Obviously this is written by a fag who is too busy sucking dick than even beginning to understand what good music is. Man, Heavy Heavy Low Low is probably one of the best technical/metalcore bands out there. Actually listen to them. You'll see. I think your opinion sucks.
Thanks, Mike, for making our day that much brighter.