Ohio State Senator Kris Jordan, a Republican who reps Ohio's 19th district, introduce Senate Bill 94 on Thursday which would ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Bear with us for a second, as we were unaware that such a bill was needed. Apparently the Buckeye State is in imminent danger of being plagued by scientists creating centaurs.
The bill would also ban human cloning, which Jordan — who, let us be clear, is not a scientist, addressed in a press release:
“Human cloning and attempts at creating animal-human hybrids are immoral and unethical practices that devalue human life and have questionable, if any, scientific merit. These practices are a direct affront to the sanctity of human life in this state, and have no place in our society. I’m honored by and appreciative of the support of both the Ohio Christian Alliance and Ohio Right to Life for this important legislation. It is humbling to be working with these two great organizations that strive to defend the traditional family values that most Ohioans hold dear.”
Bear with us for a second again, as we were unaware that support of centaurs was not a strong family value. Also, let us note that Jordan speaks for you if you support traditional family values, but probably not so much if you don't, nor if you want to make a half man/half gar fish.
Though not included in the press release, it's widely know that Jordan hates the movie The Little Mermaid.
No word on what Jordan would do with Ohio's lone existing animal-human hybrid (Dick Goddard: human on the outside, lion on the inside) if the bill passes.