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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Man Shot Over Four Loko Dispute

Posted By on Wed, Jun 15, 2011 at 10:03 AM

four-loko.jpg

Thought all the hysterics over Four Loko would dissipate slowly into the ether once the FDA clamped down on the crack-in-a-can's ingredients? Nope.

While the reformulated recipe for Four Loko stripped caffeine from the cocktail, and while the media frenzy and black-market appetite for Loko eased after the initial bans put in place by numerous states, Four Loko still has fervent fans, ones who will risk life, limb, and possible law-breaking to enjoy the sweet, way too sweet, actually cough-medicine disgusting sweet, taste.

The Plain Dealer reports today that a rogue can of Four Loko was at the center of a shooting last night that left one man in the hospital in critical condition.

Let's begin with the PD's lede, because there is no improving on the simplicity and absurdity of the sentence:

A 23-year-old Cleveland man was shot three times Tuesday morning and his home was burglarized in a dispute over another man's Four Loko beverage.

Well, we're off to a good start, wouldn't you say? The 23-year-old was Lloyd Crosby Jr., and he fielded a phone call from an unnamed man around 1 a.m. who said he left a can of Four Loko at Crosby's house and he wanted it back. Crosby wasn't home at the time, however, so the unnamed man did the only logical thing a man in desperate need of the intoxicating and refreshing essence of a $1.69 alcoholic beverage would do: he broke in.

Crosby came home after the man was already inside, which irked him because he had simply told the thirsty gentleman to wait, that he'd be there soon. A fight ensued, with the intruder soliciting help by yelling out an open window to some friends outside. And by "some," we mean up to seven, which just doesn't seem like a fair fight, especially when two of those friends were packing heat. One of the armed men made the poor decision to actually use his weapon, firing five times and hitting Crosby, who is now at Metro in critical condition.

Police are looking for tips in the case; all suspects remain at large, presumably armed, not thirsty anymore, and likely in a haze of a trippy Four Loko high.

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