Thursday, September 29, 2011

Delonte West's Application to Work at Furniture Store is Priceless

Posted By on Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 9:00 AM

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It's hard out there for a locked-out NBA player. Bills to pay, mouths to feed, no money in the bank, and no money coming in. Take Delonte West, for example. The former Cavalier tweeted when the lockout began that he might need to find a job at Home Depot to make ends meet. He wasn't kidding.

It wasn't the big-box home store that got West's services, but Regency Furniture. Yes, Delonte West got a job in the stock room of a furniture store in D.C. His application, which he tweeted out, is below.

Have you ever been convicted of a crime? "Yes."

If yes, please describe in full. "Misunderstanding."

When can you start? "Yesterday."

Never change Delonte, never change.

Click on the image below for the full-sized goodness. Oh, and yes, Delonte West did get the job and started this week.

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The Other Paper, Columbus Alt-Weekly, Purchased by Dispatch (Updated)

Posted By on Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 8:57 AM

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Update: Last night, the Disptach's Phil Pikelny shot Scene an email back with the following comment about the sale.

"There are no changes contemplated for any of the acquired properties in the near future. In fact, Roy Biondi will remain the Group Publisher for The Other Paper so The Other Paper will retain its current voice.

"Working with Roy, executives at The Dispatch Printing Company will assess the opportunities for all of the publications we acquired and will do what we feel is in the best interests of our readers and advertisers."

***

On a surface drive-by, this news coming out of Columbus might only appeal to media geeks, those ink fingered few of the shrinking tribe who can talk the ins and outs of sunshine law but don't know anything about a 401K. But really, once you consider how the following situation ripples out, what it signifies for the future of the state's professional sources of journalism, then this is something everyone should tune in for.

The Other Paper
, Columbus' alt-weekly, was purchased yesterday by the parent company of the city's only daily paper, the Columbus Dispatch, according to Columbus Business First. The buy was part of a Dispatch Printing Co. shopping spree that included Columbus Monthly magazine and a chain of community weeklies. The final price tag was not released.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Afternoon Brew: Foster Parents Ditch Kid at Browns Game, Finding Pot Farms, Kucinich Goes After Cleveland Clinic, and a Masturbator Fired

Posted By on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 4:53 PM

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Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you check your backyard to make sure your son isn't growing pot back there. And if he is, to remind him that sharing is caring.

— Southern Ohio authorities are in hot pursuit of drug dealers with huge outdoor pot farms. Also, a place to get a good pizza afterward. (Cleveland.com)

— Dennis! Kucinich spoke out against the Cleveland Clinic this week, saying the hospital should take on more of the city's uninsured patients while Metro sags partly because of its charity care. (Cleveland.com)

— Two intoxicated foster parents brought a 9-year-old to the Muni Lot, got drunk, fought with each other, sent the kid to the game with two strangers, and didn't seem to care when police nabbed them for abandoning the child. (Deadspin)

Continue reading »

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Marijuana and a Dumb Drunk, The Best of the Police Blotters

Posted By on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 4:30 PM

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Two items from the ever-entertaining police blotters of Northeast Ohio caught our eye this afternoon. Lessons to take away as you go: if you're growing weed in your house, never give anyone an excuse to randomly come in, and don't ever drive drunk. Just don't do it.

First, from Lakewood and the Sun Post Herald:

DANGEROUS DRUGS, EDGEWATER DRIVE: Police were called to an apartment building at approximately 6:30 a.m. on Sept. 22 to assist a maintenance man with a problem. Apparently, a resident had discovered water leaking into their apartment from the ceiling. The maintenance man, who deduced the water was coming from the unit of the resident’s upstairs neighbor, couldn’t get the neighbor to come to the door and asked officers to stand by while he entered the unit. Upon gaining entry, it was discovered the water was coming from an overflowing bathtub, which the neighbor was filling before accidentally falling asleep. Unfortunately for the neighbor, it was also discovered that he was growing marijuana in his closet. Police arrested him for cultivation as a result.

Not to be outdone by its neighbor to the east, Westlake ups the ante, via Patch:


A 25-year-old Westlake man was trying to warn fellow drivers of a police cruiser by flashing his high beams at about 7:30 p.m. Sept. 25. Unfortunately, he flashed them right at an oncoming police officer. The officer turned around to see if the man needed help and pulled alongside him at a red light. The driver told the officer that he was just trying to warn other drivers of the police cruiser. The man blew a .135 blood alcohol level and police arrested him for driving under the influence, operators license required and failure to dim headlights.

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Ohio Redistricting Group Gives New Map Failing Grades

Posted By on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 2:00 PM

Grade: F.
  • Grade: F.

These are frustrating days for Jim Slagle. Earlier this year, the head of the non-profit Ohio Campaign for Accountable Redistricting had taken on a tough cause: trying to get Ohio’s legislators to act their age when it comes to creating a plan to divide the state into 16 new congressional slices.

But by the time Republicans quickly unveiled and passed their plan for district dominance earlier this month, Slagle’s message had been drowned out by all the chest-bumping.

Slagle’s plan — better known as “Draw the Line Ohio” — was to spark a fever for redistricting reform by allowing taxpayers to nerd-out on the process in the comfort of their own homes.

Using a computer program, armchair planners could submit their own plans to reorganize the state into 16 districts. The plans were then judged by a mathematical formula that weighed nonpartisan factors such as which plans maintained county lines and competitiveness between the parties in each district. Fifty-three plans were submitted to the group, which presented the best eight to the legislature, which promptly blew them all off.

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Donna Chriszt Out as Chef of Fountain; Brian Okin Steps In

Posted By on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 1:12 PM

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Brian Okin (Verve, Dinner in the Dark) has taken over the kitchen at Fountain (34105 Chagrin Blvd., 216-755-1225) in Moreland Hills, which opened just over three months ago. He is replacing opening chef Donna Chriszt. His first day on the job is today.

"Whether it was me or somebody else, the owners were going to make a change," Okin explains.

He says that he will continue with the European small-plate concept as it is and has been successful. Diners will begin to see some seasonal tweaks representing Okin's influence, but there will be no wholesale changes.

Okin admits that his biggest challenge will be working in a kitchen that lacks many typical pieces of equipment. This one is limited to induction burners and an oven.

Cleveland Ranked in Top Ten Mustache-Friendly Cities

Posted By on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 1:00 PM

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All awards and recognitions are not created equally. There's a sliding scale, from the end where you scream out loud, thump your chest, and call your parents, to the end where you force a smile, nod quickly, and immediately toss the award in the garbage.

City rankings are no different. Cleveland has been left off plenty of lists — best weather, best economy, best job market, best place for hot singles, best place for skinny singles. San Diego and L.A. and Miami are perpetual high-rankers in those categories, and you know what, fellas, you can keep 'em. Because those are basically "Employee of the Week" awards from a company with 52 employees and a rule that every employee must win the award once a year. The Daytime Emmys of specious internet rankings, if you will.

And Cleveland doesn't care. Why? Because Cleveland just basically took home the EGOT.

That's right: the American Mustache Institute just named Cleveland the 7th most mustache-friendly city in America
after a comprehensive two-year study of 100 cities. Bam. The fact that Carl Monday is still employed in this town probably told them all they needed to know about our love for the flavor saver.

(Incidentally, we imagine the study involved sending Tom Selleck to speak to 100 random citizens in every city. For every woman that slept with him, a city got 10 points. For every man that asked to pet the Selleck mustache, another 10 points. For every person that offered to eat those donut crumbs from the mustache, 50 points.)

Anyway, congrats on the award, Cleveland. Brush, stroke, and pamper that 'stache. It can only go downhill from here.

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