Scene and Heard: Scene's News Blog

Update II: The winding court case of the Amish beard attackers took yet another turn today. According to the AP:

Twelve defendants charged in beard-cutting attacks on fellow Amish in Ohio are challenging the constitutionality of the federal hate crimes law.

[snip]

The challenges say the alleged attacks aren't religion-based hate crimes but internal church discipline not involving anti-Amish bias.

Um, sure.

***

Update: Father Mullet has spoken.

Sam Mullet, the leader of the breakaway Amish group responsible for the hair and beard trimmings that drew national attention and the father of two of the perpetrators, talked with reporters to explain a few things. Notably, that he didn't order the attacks, but that the attacks were perfectly reasonable and cops should allow his group to dole out the "religious punishment" as they see fit. And they just want to be left alone, you see?

“We’d like to get up in the morning, be left alone, live like normal people,” Mullet told reporters. “They won’t leave us be.”

Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you feel sorry for former millionaires.

— A report says the recession is hurting Ohio's millionaires. The dozenaires have been hit pretty hard too. (AP)

— If the Halloween comic given out by your local church includes a boy hanging himself and a "mean momma" with a gun, that might be a problem. (Times Gazette)

— Anthony Sowell's house will finally be razed in the next four to six weeks. (WTAM)

You may remember earlier this year when the CDC posted a tongue-in-cheek piece explaining how to be prepared for a zombie attack. Yes, funny. They slipped in some practical advice about preparedness for more realistic disaster scenarios among the zombie lines. A spoonful of sugar situation, if you will. For example:

Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

Of course, they forgot the most practical zombie advice, including: Cardio, the double tap, beware of bathrooms, travel light, get a kick-ass partner, limber up, always carry a change of underwear, double-knot your shoes, and check the back seat.

• A previously rejected design for Public Square, but this could be similar to what Jackson has in mind.

Sunday's Plain Dealer had this bit of news: Mayor Frank Jackson tells the paper that he wants to close Public Square to traffic and make the forlorn, antiquated area a public park.

Round of applause, sir. As Cleveland Mag notes, it might take Jackson a helluva effort to actually get this done, but for now, here's what he's thinking: Close Superior and Ontario to form a 10-acre park, a open space that will be more useful than its current purpose, which seems to be nothing more than an RTA hub. (As the article notes, there are 3,200 dropoffs by RTA at Public Square now. Those would all have to happen elsewhere.)

“I want to see one big square,” Jackson told the paper. And when questioned about possibly closing just one of the streets, he said, "“We could make it two halves, but that’s not a square. A square is one piece.”

The goals here are two-fold: create something more usable for pedestrians and bicyclists, more "green" if you will, and to tie together the various districts in downtown — casino, Warehouse, E. 9th, ballparks — as big-ticket projects like the Flats, Med Mart, and convention center move toward completion.

Yeah, foreclosures, empty buildings, ruin porn, de-industrialized Cleveland, empty streets, boarded-up windows — it's all depressing and visited enough. Why one more picture? Eh, this one caught our eye. "The Palace." How perfect.

The pic comes from MetroBlossom's recent trip to Cleveland. More photos at the link. Credit to photog David Schalliol.

Seven of the 11 members of Cuyahoga County Council favor moving the twice-monthly, Tuesday meeting times from 6 p.m. to 3 p.m. We know that because Council President C. Ellen Connally instructed a clerk to take an "email straw poll" of council members, a move which transparency advocates say violates Sunshine laws.

The PD reported on the issue last week. Connally decided against trying to fast-track the legislation at the last meeting.

The possible move is important for a few reasons: the afternoon meeting time is not convenient for anyone who works; while Connally contends an earlier time would allow council to get back to their wards for other meetings and block parties, at least one council member worried that the 3 p.m. slot would make it hard for them to hold down other jobs; and county employees earn time off for attending council meetings after the workday and one council member says an earlier slot would save that cash.

Mostly, however, the latest gotcha moment with Connally provides yet another opportunity for a patented Connally soundbite. At this point, she doesn't even bother trying to hide her contempt for the PD and the public. When asked by the paper about the "secrecy," she had this to say.

"I don't understand the big problem here," Connally said. "The easiest thing was just to do a poll. We made absolutely no decision based on that [survey]. . . This is no violation of the sunshine law because no decision was ever made."

Connally also dismissed suggestions that afternoon meetings would discourage public attendance, saying few people have taken advantage of evening meetings.

To be fair, if Connally had her way, meetings would be held twice a month at her home while she watched soap operas.

And when asked her thoughts on a citizen committee's recommendation that meetings be held at evening to accommodate folks can't attend until after work, she had another dynamite soundbite.

It's listed below, but you'll have to guess which one in a little game we'll play called "Ron Swanson or C. Ellen Connally." For those of you who don't watch Parks & Recreation, Ron Swanson is the public-hating Libertarian head of the Parks & Rec department. His hatred for government is exceeded only by his hatred of the common man. We've assembled a collection of quotes from both Connally and Swanson. Guess who said what. Answers at the end. (And yes, in this scenario, the PD is "Pawnee Today.")

Craigslist's Missed Connections are always fun. They're even more fun at Halloween. Three of our favorite missed connections from this weekend below.

To the 4 different girls I saw dressed up as Annie Hall last night - w4w - 32 (Cleveland Ohio)

I don't know why all of a sudden it's in vogue to be a 23yr old dressed up as Annie Hall, but you might have saved yourself the money you spent on a hat you will probably never wear again, and just gone as Zoey Deschanel, cause it's the same damn thing. Also, you should aspire to date better men, Woody Allen as a boyfriend sucks. And please promise yourself right now to never make a movie with Jack Nicholson.

Ouch.