A Scene weekly feature ranking local newsmakers.
1. U.S. Attorney Steven Dettelbach 70 arrested in record-setting crack down on local drug runners, meaning there’s a lot less blow on the streets. In unrelated news, West 6th has spontaneously combusted.
2. County Councilwoman Sunny Simon Her gutsy push for an alternative flow for casino funds would help the suburbs while bucking the wishes of county exec Ed FitzGerald. But who else is going to stand up for Parma?
3. Seneca Wallace The Brown’s QB told reporters he wasn’t interested in a third-string position – a rare example of a player dropping the training camp kumbaya and speaking his mind.
4. @DimoraInPrison A new Twitter feed purports to be the jailhouse musings of the fallen pol. Finally, someone gets the joke. Now pass the turducken...
5. Eric Gordon Riding the momentum from a good first year, the Cleveland School’s boss might get a three-year contract extension this week. Time to move the résumé from the top desk drawer to the middle one.