The Ohio Senate’s new Finance Subcommittee on Education, chaired as of last week by Senator Randy Gardner (R-Bowling Green), is off to an auspicious start with this droll little spelling gaffe (via NPR).
In vaguely related news, the Ohio Department of Education recently issued guidelines for its “Third Grade Reading Guarantee Policy,” which seeks to “diagnose reading deficiencies in students at grades kindergarten through three, create individualized reading improvement and monitoring plans, while also providing intensive reading interventions.” New legislative requirements for elementary educators include strengthened diagnostic testing to identify students as either “On-Track” or “Not On-Track” — those deemed off-track will receive a battery of monitory letters home and “intensive remediation services.”
Did you fall asleep during that last paragraph? I did, and so did the Senate! Let’s face it: standard usage is a snoozefest. Tacitly snubbing the ODE’s new guidelines is a fun and cheeky way for senators to show kids that being "not on-track" in literacy is tantamount to being "on-track" for an illustrious congressional career.
Unfortunately, they caught the error before mounting the sign, imputed the blunder to the sign-maker, and cruelly revoked years of potential educateional hilarity.
Feel free to keep the workday madness going and send your own shots using the hashtag #tweetyourdesk.
Early reports confirm that the building was evacuated around 1:30 p.m. The Hanna Building is located at 1422 Euclid Ave.
According to WKYC, "a transformer overheated in the basement and most of the smoke went outside."
It's mid-afternoon and the Cleveland Fire Department's had one hell of a day so far.
Black smoke billowing through floor vents into the Hanna Building Starbucks. Fire in the basement. Building evacuated. twitter.com/KoryOnTheRadio…
— Kory (@KoryOnTheRadio) January 30, 2013
The details surrounding a lawsuit brought forth by 1995 Browns season ticket holders against Modell resurfaced this morning when Cleveland Frowns published briefs from the case, handwritten notes from Bill Belichick and more than a few reminders of the contradictions that roiled our city that year. Do check out the full article, though we're running a quick review here:
"Modell and his partners ended up settling the case for $3 million, which would be water long under the bridge if there weren’t still folks in Baltimore making half-hearted, half-witted, and apparently entirely self-interested arguments that Modell suddenly deserves to be in Pro Football’s Hall of Fame now that he’s passed away. But since Modell is a finalist for the Hall for the first time since 2004, up for a vote by the Selection Committee this Saturday, the lawsuit is of profound relevance today, especially because certain of the documents filed in it set forth the case against Modell as concisely as any source that’s out there..."
The website goes on to publish the Plaintiffs’ Opposition to Modell et. al’s Motion for Summary Judgment (embedded below). "This document sets forth the pattern by which Modell lied to the people of Cleveland as well as any, and, like most summary judgment papers, cites a number of authenticated documentary exhibits as well as sworn deposition testimony," according to the writer. "This includes pages from Bill Belichick’s personal notebook, and testimony from the likes of Belichick, Modell and Al Lerner themselves."
Here's a choice quote from Modell's 1994 interview with The Plain Dealer, which kinda sums up, in hindsight, much of the shock that Clevelanders experienced:
“I’m not about to rape this city as others in this league and others have done …. You’ll never hear me say, ‘If I don’t get this I’m moving. You can go to press on that one. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that.”
And riddled throughout the published materials is insight into how guarded team leaders were being about the move. Hell, Belichick's letter states: "Publicly don’t say anything about moving the team." Cleveland Frowns homes in on the word "heist" in the article. And there's a lot of substance to that.
There are some fascinating reminders brought up in the story, which is as timely as ever this week. Here are the closing remarks:
So again, it’s not at all just about Modell’s plainly lacking qualifications for the Hall apart from the move, but just as much about his profoundly disqualifying acts in taking the Browns away to Baltimore; the worst kind of precursor to the “sports welfare for billionaires” culture that’s since become a regressive norm.
In the storied Cleveland tradition of prized landmarks randomly combusting, the West Side Market last night fell victim to a fire, reportedly originating at the Sebastian’s Meats stand (you know, the place with the suckling pigs).
While the fire itself wasn’t extensive and no injuries were reported, pervasive smoke damage prompted the market to shut its doors today. Rob Pilch of Vera’s Bakery plaintively distilled the infelicitous mishap: “it stinks.” Yes, it does stink—reeks, in fact—of FOUL PLAY.
Late-night luau gone awry? The tragic denouement to a long-simmering feud between Sebastian’s and another “meats” vendor? WSM’s crack team of market sleuths is on the case, just as soon as they finish this delicious overnight smoked brisket.
The stands will be subjected to Health Department inspections for product damage before the market is allowed to re-open, hopefully before Super Bowl Weekend. Because what’s a football game without a bag of smokies?
But the Warriors' second-year stud Klay Thompson was shooting the absolute skin off the basketball, and momentum was impossible to redirect.
For the majority of the second and third quarters, every time we'd begin to claw back, Thompson would hit a preposterous 3-point shot like it was no big deal. I mean he was sinking them with the casual confidence of layup drills.
At the beginning of the 3rd quarter, the Cavs were 0-7 from downtown. The Warriors were 7-7. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FROM 3-POINT LAND??? Come on! The group from Golden State was just in a deep groove last night, and the Cavs' piecemeal efforts (valiant though they were), couldn't sway the tide.
—When the Warriors' Festus Ezeli and Andris Biedrins were out there, they resembled tall, ungainly versions of Tyler Perry and Leonardo DiCaprio.
—Warriors bruiser David Lee had a weird black eye situation going on, and I'd like to formally apologize to the folks at Nano Brew when I exclaimed, midway through the first quarter: "Is David Lee wearing eye-liner?"
—New acquisition Wayne Ellington was a non-contributor. Looked like he hadn't fully internalized the offense yet. He had one really buffoonish turnover and zero points.
—Tyler Zeller was shooting the ball from 18-20 feet pretty consistently. Strong offensive night from the rookie big man.
—Kyrie, on the other hand, had a harder time finding the bucket. As always, he was electrifying with the ball in his hands, but he was dribbling in circles among the Warrior defenders with precious few providential alleys to the rim. He did have a pretty sick behind-the-back pass to C.J. Miles, who promptly missed a three-pointer.
STAT ATTACK: Dion Waiters matched his season/career-high with seven assists. This is the fifth time he's reached the seven-assist mark this year, and only the second time since he's been of legal drinking age. Tyler Zeller also matched his season/career-high in assists, with five. This is the second time he's done it this year, but only the first time since he's been 23.
Next up: Detroit Pistons on Friday, February 1, in Detroit.
Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.