The book was released Oct. 18.
Originally posted June 18
Ne'er-do-wells wreaking havoc in sleepy Brimfield Township - near Akron and Kent - have more than just a slap on the wrist coming their way. Like a slap in the face. Book. Facebook.
Perhaps I should serve some sort of sentence for trying to craft a clever lede, but I'm safely outside Brimfield Township Police Chief David Oliver's jurisdiction. He's the guy who's garnered local renown for insulting criminals on the police department's Facebook page and generally keeping the people informed and entertained.
Here's a sample of his wit:
"If you use a handicapped space and you jump out of the vehicle, all healthy-like, as if someone is dangling free cheeseburgers on a stick, expect people to stare at you and get angry. You are milking the system and it aggravates those of us who play by the rules. Ignoring us does not make you invisible. We see you, loser."
Oliver's awesome outbursts have kicked the quiet Facebook page up into the neighborhood of 57,000 fans. There are only 10,400 people living in Brimfield. Oliver playfully attributes that success to the township's pleasantness. ""We smell good. And we are honest," he writes. He also says that Brimfield Township is behind only New York City and Boston in terms of popular police department Facebook pages.
All the while, he keeps his tone cheery as he harangues local mopes. ("A mope is a person who leeches off us and usually is engaged in criminal activity," he explains.) But his posts reflect the life and times of a man committed to his community. Sure, poking fun at mopes is great. But Oliver clearly wants to go beyond the mope-pokage.
"We do not believe everyone who has ever committed a crime is a mope," he writes. "People change. I am the unofficial spokesperson for turning it around. I was sort of wild in my younger days. I was not a criminal, but I lacked some character. Mrs. Chief changed all of that, because she is no nonsense. Shenanigans are fine. Nonsense is not. The point is as I have said before….once a mope, not always a mope. If you are a reformed mope, welcome."
Welcome to Brimfield Township, folks. Now don't you feel all warm and fuzzy.
UPDATE: This could be the best news you hear all day.
The folks at Mohican State Park recently told Scene that they are now taking reservations for overnight rentals of their state-of-the-art treehouses.
Treehouse designer Kevin Mooney said that the units will be ready for occupancy by mid-September.
Until then, treehouse hopefuls can start planning their mini-vacays and continue swooning over these stunning photos of Mooney's architectural masterpieces.
Your childhood dream of living in a treehouse is about to come true- at least, your dream of staying in one will.
Clevelanders (or anyone for that matter) looking to escape from the daily grind and slip quietly into the woods will soon be able to rent out state-of-the-art treehouses at Mohican State Park in Glenmont, OH.
Each two-story unit is equipped with two bedrooms, a stocked kitchen, a full bath, Amish-made furniture, central air, satellite TV, and, oh, a killer back porch view.
The treehouses, which were recently featured on the Animal Planet series "Treehouse Masters," will hopefully be available for summer renting, treehouse designer Kevin Mooney told Cleveland.com.
He said he is just waiting on government approval for occupancy and that the estimated cost for renting a unit would fall between $150 and $250 per night.
UPDATE: Amy Clark of Elyria, the creator of the "Creatures of Lorain County" Facebook page, is kinda upset with the social behemoth's decision to shut down her page.
As of yesterday, Facebook took down the page, citing violations of community guidelines.
“I’m just going to make a new page today and make it a private group page,” she told the Elyria Chronicle-Telegram. “That way people will have to ask permission to be on it and I can delete people and add people when I want. That way Facebook really can’t touch it...I don’t understand what the big deal is with my page because there are way worse pages out there."
- Eric Sandy
Originally posted June 17:
We've long been a fan of our neighbors to the west in the Lorain area here at Scene, but the level to which the characters (put loosely) of that fair geographic region are celebrated (and, yes, mocked) at the Facebook page "The Creatures of Lorain County" is some next-level dedication and research.
Presented without comment, one of the page's entries.
Go ahead and browse for yourself. It's, um, interesting.
He will be arraigned July 17, and his trial will begin Aug. 5.
“Today’s indictment moves us closer to resolution of this gruesome case," Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Timothy McGinty says. “Our investigation continues, as does our preparation for trial.”
It's unclear if the prosecutor will seek the death penalty.
This all comes after - and supersedes - the original 329-count indictment detailed below.
Originally posted June 7:
Ariel Castro was indicted today in county court on 329 counts.
That's one count of aggravated murder, 139 counts of rape, 177 counts of kidnapping, seven counts of gross sexual imposition, three counts of felonious assault and one count of possession of criminal tools. The indictments cover August 2002, when Michelle Knight was first taken, until February 2007.
“Today’s indictments represent a first major step in the criminal justice process,’’ County Prosecutor Timothy McGinty says. “Our investigation continues, and we will present our findings to the grand jury.’’
Castro will be arraigned next week. No additional public comment was available on the matter.
Update: Eppley has pleaded not guily, saying that the texts were "tongue in cheek," which conveniently enough, is also where the Benadryl would have been administered.
Tammy Eppley, 37, has been charged with six counts of endangering children - including her own 2-year-old daughter. The Westerville woman owns a home-based daycare center - the Caterpillar Clubhouse - where she's been reportedly lacing pancake batter with crushed Benadryl (an over-the-counter antihistamine) and melatonin (a sleep aid hormone).
Local police are also looking into whether she doped the kids' "sippy cups" with Benadryl, according to the Columbus Dispatch.
One friend has also come forward with cell phone video footage of Eppley "bragging" about the moves. The daycare owner later told police and other media outlets that she was only joking. Nonetheless, parents of the children under her purview are upset. Reports are conflicting on whether some or all of the parents knew about the drug. Eppley claims she was granted permission; police report that that was not the case.
At least one child nearly discovered the con, according to police: "Tammy jokes about one of the children almost discovering her actions by remarking that the sprinkles on some cupcakes tasted funny."
The story has blown up since charges were filed, resulting in national news outlets homing in on otherwise quaint Westerville, Ohio.
However your nights end up, you've probably got at least a handful of wild stories from your filth-ridden past. Tall tales and bourbon-drenched myths of magnificent proportions. Inklings of a novella illuminating your boozy history.
We want 'em.
Scene is publishing its annual Bar Guide later this month. We'll run the best - craziest, nuttiest, booziest - stories that week in print and online.
Roll out your inner Bukowski and email your balls-to-the-wall stories to firstname.lastname@example.org by July 10. Try to keep 'em under, say, 500 words.
There was actually *no* checkpoint ahead. But there were officers waiting to see if any drivers reacted to the sign suspiciously.
Four people were stopped, resulting in "some" arrests and "some" drugs seized, according to authorities.
The Cleveland office of the American Civil Liberties Union is looking into possible rights violations, but the conventional wisdom stemming from the incidents maintains their legitimacy. As the Associated Press puts it, many are questioning the ethics behind the measure, but there's also a general sense that it's legally copacetic. Here's a quick and likely unsurprising take from one local prosecutor:
Dominic Vitantonio, a Mayfield Heights assistant prosecutor, said the fake checkpoints are legal and a legitimate effort in the war on drugs.
“We should be applauded for doing this,” Dominic Vitantonio said. “It’s a good thing.”