The Wisdom of Dick Feagler

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Feagler: Time for the dame to take a curtsy and shove off

Posted By on Tue, May 27, 2008 at 8:28 AM

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Today's topic: Hillary Clinton… I was at the coffee shop, and the guys all agree: This Hillary Clinton needs to get her head out of the mud before them god damn elephants trample over the one good show pony left. ...

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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Dick Feagler: What’s the big deal with this Rev. Wright?

Posted By on Tue, May 6, 2008 at 5:29 AM

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Today's topic: Dick thinks people shouldn’t be bagging on Barack Obama just because his preacher is a nut… I was at the coffee shop, and the guys all agree: This Rev. Wright is a fruitcake. A nutjob. His elevator don’t reach the top floor. So what’s the big deal? Back in day, everyone knew that preachers were weirdos. Why, if you didn’t want to get your hands dirty, wanting to hang around old ladies making pancake breakfastses instead, you got yourself a job as a preacher. It’s was a helluva lot easier than being a master mechanic, I’ll tell you that. The pay wasn’t so good, but you got a free house and some perch on Fridays. And you only had to work one day a week, unless you were visiting Grandma in the hospital…

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Dick Feagler: This Soulja Boy kid belongs in a work camp

Posted By on Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 11:45 AM

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Dick Feagler: This Soulja Boy kid belongs in a work camp Today's topic: Dick disapproves of the hip-hop brouhaha involving the Cavs-Wizards series I was at the coffee shop, and the guys all agree: this Soulja Boy character looks like a prime candidate for electric-shock therapy. ...

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dick Feagler: Why don’t National City execs kill themselves?

Posted By on Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 10:41 AM

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Today's topic: Dick thinks National City is run by a bunch of fairies… I was at the coffee shop, and the guys all agree: Bankers these days are light in the loafers. Why, back in my day, bankers weren’t prancers like the ones they have today. If you were the chairman of National City back in my day, you wouldn’t just sit around a board room eating finger sandwiches with your buddies. You’d do the right thing, which was jump out a seventh floor window and splatter yourself on the sidewalk…

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Feagler: They just don't stump like they used to. And speaking of stumps ...

Posted By on Thu, Mar 13, 2008 at 8:30 AM

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Today's topic: Campaigning these days has really gotten out of hand … I was sitting at the coffee shop with the guys, and we all agreed: Campaigning for President these days is the work of the Devil himself. You don’t believe me? What happened after the skirt and the negro stopped by town for that exercise in word vomit? We had a snowstorm, an ice storm, a blizzard, and a giant geyser, and sinkhole in the middle of downtown Cleveland. Do you really need any more evidence that these calamites were brought to town on the backs of the political Mephistopheles? ...

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Monday, March 3, 2008

Feagler: TV is for the birds

Posted By on Mon, Mar 3, 2008 at 6:24 AM

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Today's topic: With all this election nonsense, Dick’s been watching a lot of cable these days, and he doesn’t like what he sees … I was at the coffee shop, and the guys all agree: TV was way better back in my day. Why back in my day, we had exactly three channels, and we were damn glad to have ‘em. Yeah, sometimes the reception got a little dodgy, but you just sent your kid brother Biff up to the roof with some tin foil to fix the problem. Nowadays, if they see you with tin foil on your roof, the government stooges’ll peg you for a terrorist before you can say waterboard. ...

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Feagler: The presidential debates are for fairies

Posted By on Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 5:04 AM

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Today's topic: Dick thinks debates are for fairies… I was at the coffee shop, and the guys all agree: These presidential debates are light in the loafers. Why, back in my day, if two guys were shooting for the same job, we wouldn’t yap about it on TV. We’d take it out to the parking lot and sock each other in the snot locker. Sometimes, if it was a really good job like foreman, we’d use sticks or rakes. I got my job at The Plain Dealer by stabbing another fellow with a trident. It’s kind of like a giant fork, only it doesn’t work too well for eating, because the prongs are too far apart and your potatoes always fall off…

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