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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Scene Magazine Presents SantaCon

Posted on Tue, Nov 25, 2014 at 1:54 PM

SATURDAY, DEC 20 - 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. - W. 25TH STREET

Get your tickets right now, right here.

Scene Magazine and Future Friends and Associates are teaming up to spread holiday cheer throughout Ohio City! Santacon is an international phenomenon that absurdly simple but incredibly fun. Dress as Santa and come out and celebrate the season!

Santas meet at Bar Cento / Bier Markt from 3 to 4 p.m. to get their wristbands and maps of participating bars.

There is a $10 registration, which includes drink specials, wristbands, and map of participating venues.

Pre-register right here to be included in the North Pole updates, and get a $10 discount offer to the Whiskey Business event (Fri, Dec 19 @ RED Space). You can come there dressed as Santa too and make a weekend out of it!

Benefiting the Greater Cleveland Food Bank

Santa’s Rules:

1. Be Jolly.

2. Get more SANTAS. Tweet it. (#SantaconCLE) Post it on Facebook. We need all the Santas we can get. Help us out!

3. Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Make it purple. Make it pink. Make it plaid. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare parts for the Santafication of strangers. Examples: Santa Claws, Santa Garcia, Santa's naughty little helper, misfit toy, elf, Grinch, angel, Jesus, snowman, nutcracker, reindeer. So we're pretty flexible here.

4. Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, secret service agents, and store owners and doesn't break any laws!!! Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T [email protected] IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Our Santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others.

Santa's Reminders:

1. Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. (Feel free to abuse their parents.)

2. Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santas wear mutliple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing Xmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole.

3. Santa doesn't whine! We will be outside much of the early day and covering a lot of ground on foot -- bring enough "snacks" to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.

4. Bring gifts -- NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids.

5. Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that Santa.

6. Pay your own god damn bar tab. AND BRING CASH. Santa's don't wait for you to pay your tab via credit card. And tip the bartenders generously for putting up with us.

7. Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:

Q: Who's in charge? A: Santa.

Q: What organization are you with? A: Santa.

Q: What are you protesting? A: Shitty holiday parties.

Q: How did you get here? A: A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer

Q: Where are you going next? A: I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer.

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