Anything for T&A: The Hard Life of Dieter

Dominic Dieter took a dive Friday morning. It landed him in the hospital. Better known as Dare Dieter to the listeners of Rover’s Morning Glory on K-Rock 92.3, Dieter has created a cult following by being a dumb ass. Every Friday, he performs wannabe Jack Ass stunts for the show. Last Friday was no different. He was sealed in a barrel and rolled down a hill. Things were going fine until the top pop opened and Dieter slammed his head. He was taken to MetroHealth. The accident had hundreds of people worried, especially a bevy of scantily-clad women. See, Dieter was supposed to be on hand to help judge a calendar girl contest with the rest of the morning crew. Girls panicked, wondering if the show would be canceled, ruining their chance to shake their asses in front of a bunch of drunken men. There was nothing to worry about. Having a comrade in the hospital wasn’t enough to stop the show. The multitudes still gathered at Shooters in the Flats to celebrate women’s liberation. But Dieter was not far from the crowds’ collective minds as his name was chanted throughout the night. By the time the show started, Rover updated the audience on Dieter’s condition: He was out of the hospital and at home recovering. Then Rover raised a toast to his friend, saying he’d do what Dieter would’ve wanted: Move on to “the tits and asses.” – T.K. Kim
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