The Columbus Clippers' Cooper Stadium is a clean but undistinguished 1970s-era ballpark. It has dark green stadium seats with cup holders, backed by a walkway and a second seating tier of aluminum bleachers. Arm yourself with these fun facts before visiting the Yankees' AAA affiliate:
Beer: Bud or Bud Lite. Our father-in-law's fridge has a bigger selection.
Food: Better than the beer . . . if they bothered to stock any of it. The meatball hoagies weren't ready, the seasoned fries were sold out, and we got the last Bahama Mama sausage sandwich. And this was in the third inning.
Mascot: Lou Seal is a big yellow bird of indeterminate species. During a break between innings, he leads an exuberant parade of birthday kids onto the field.
This Week's Games: 7:05 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 2:05 p.m. Sunday vs. the Buffalo Bisons (Cleveland's AAA team); 7:05 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday vs. the Durham Bulls. $3 to $9.
Getting There: Cooper Stadium, 1155 West Mound Street, Columbus (I-71 South to I-70 West to Mound Street Exit; 145 miles); call 614-462-5250. -- Mark T. Fatla
Tonight's Cow Milking Contest, the first of several throughout the season, takes place prior to the Akron Aeros' matchup against the Trenton Thunder. Here's how it works: Two udder-pullers are pitted against one another on the Canal Park pasture. Each gets a bucket and a cow; the first to fill his pail gets a prize package from Reiter Dairy. Action is sure to be fierce, since both parties will be milking from opposite sides of the same cow . . . at the same time. Sign-up begins at 6 p.m.; two contestants will be chosen randomly before the 7:05 game at Canal Park (300 South Main Street in Akron). Tickets are $6 to $9. Call 330-253-5153 for more information. -- Steve Albanese
Have fun with stunned fish.
At RiverDay, naturalists from the Ohio Division of Wildlife will stick a long pole with a net into the headwaters of the Cuyahoga River. With the push of a lever, an electrical generator shoots a few volts of juice into the water to "electroshock" fish to the surface. "It harmlessly stuns them and opens the window to the river to give people a closer look at them," explains Geauga Park District's Nate Eppink. After an hour of not shocking the bejesus out of fish, you can take a one-hour sail down the river in a canoe or kayak (which the park district will supply) to visit the wildlife living on the banks. Says Eppink, "It's a fun day for everyone." Tell that to the fish. RiverDay is at 1 p.m. at Eldon Russell Park, 16315 Rapids Road in Troy Township. Admission is free. Call 440-286-9516 for more information. -- Cris Glaser