Psychic Babble

Psychic Jennifer Triton sees more than a coffee buzz in your future.

Psychic Night The Mudhouse, 13723 Madison Avenue, Lakewood 3 to 10 p.m., first Sunday of each month (next session is April 6). $5 stone reading, $20 astrological chart reading; 216-227-0827.

Jennifer Triton doesn't perform magic. She can't bring your ancestors back from the grave. And if someone calls her "God" one more time, she's going to scream.

But that doesn't stop the 28-year-old Lakewood astrologer from holding court at monthly Psychic Nights at the Mudhouse coffee shop, where she also works behind the counter. For $5 "donations," Triton gazes into your future by analyzing stones; for 20 bucks, she'll read your astrological chart.

Triton learned to interpret tarot cards when she was 16. By the time she turned 20, she was fascinated by stone readings, in which a client throws 27 different gemstones -- like rose quartz and rhodonite -- onto a 12-piece pie chart. The stones fall randomly, or so it would appear. "It's you putting the energy into the rocks," she explains. "Your subconscious energy plots where the rocks fall." Then Triton gets busy, employing her intuition to forecast your future.

To perform an astrological reading, Triton must know your date, time, and place of birth at least 72 hours prior to the reading (so plan on stopping by the Mudhouse before Friday). She'll tell you your sun (or zodiacal) sign, as well as your moon and rising signs, and much more. "It's kind of like religion," she explains. "It's 8,000 different flavors."

Triton, of course, encounters the occasional nonbeliever. "What you put into [your reading] is what you're going to get out of it," she says. "Otherwise, you're going to have a shit reading."

Still, "it's always fun when it works out," she says. But predicting the future isn't magic; it's spelled out in the natal chart. "I want to feel like a customer has been guided down the right path."

Just watch out for those shit readings.

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