Psychic Needs a New Line of Work

By Pete Kotz on Wed, Dec 20, 2006 at 11:52 am

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Jane boldly predicts that Brad Pitt will stay married to Angelina Jolie -- though they're not actually married.

Our favorite self-shilling psychic hit us up again today to promote her predictions for 2007. Not that we have anything against fortune teller Jane Doherty. But some of her prognosticating leaves us, well, spellbound. Take her forecast for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. "They are a star couple, who will stay in love and survive the Hollywood marriage curse," Doherty gushes. News flash to Jane: Pitt and Jolie aren't married. "Paris Hilton's boyfriend will dump her but she will react by partying with a new beau," she continues. That's a prediction? "Oil will be found in North America" is another gem. Evidently, Jane has yet to hear of this place called Alaska. And here's the best: The Democrats will nominate Hillary Clinton as their presidential nominee; the Republicans will pit Rudy Giuliani against her. Unless there's something Jane's not telling us, we don't vote for our next president until 2008. -- Cris Glaser