Dear Dan:
I'm a straight male from Southern California, and I really want to be a straight male escort. The problem is the industry is shrouded with deceptive "agencies" that take advantage of the situation. Also, it's not like there's a Male Escort 101 course that I can take to learn how to avoid these traps. Do you have any advice, can you put me in touch with any male escorts so I can pick their brains, and do you know of a reputable agency in my area?
Seeking the Upright Deal
"There is no gigolo industry," says Dominick, the former escort who writes Ask Dominick, an advice column for male escorts and male escort wannabes at rentboy.com, a gay escort listings site. While Dominick's column focuses on issues that gay escorts confront, STUD, it's the "Male Escort 101" course you've been looking for.
"What STUD is seeking is a fantasy — one that has been fueled by cultural products like American Gigolo and HBO's Hung," says Dominick. There are no reputable agencies in Southern California — or anywhere else — that book male escorts to see female clients, just as there are no websites like rentboy.com for straight male escorts. "The fact of the matter is, almost all clients for escorts are male — whether they're looking for male, female, or transgender escorts."
Another option, STUD: List yourself as a "sexual healer" at a new-age site like sacrederos.com. "That site lists male and female sexual healers, for male and female clients, for such services as coaching, tantric awakening, and sensual massage. If this is a direction you are thinking about, have at it," says Dominick. "Otherwise, my advice to you is to pursue a profession with the potential to bring you into contact with a wealthy female clientele — business consultant, art handler — and be exceptionally good and loving to all the women in your life."
Dear Dan:
I'm a 22-year-old female and I lost my virginity in September 2011, but I had experienced everything else before that. My question is about when a guy goes down on me: How come I find it hard to enjoy any aspect of it? Is the problem that I've never experienced oral with someone who knows what he's doing? Or is it my own mental block? I personally think it's gross, and I can't imagine why a guy would want to do that to me. So the entire time he's down there, I'm stressing out about whether he really likes it. I try to focus on relaxing and blocking those thoughts out, but in the end, I always end up pulling his head back up, since I don't see myself ever experiencing an orgasm during it and, frankly, I get bored.
Is it my mental block that's stopping me from enjoying oral? Or am I just having bad luck with guys in that area?
Erotic Anxiety Time
The only way to determine what exactly your problem is, is to work on conquering your insecurities while allowing the guy(s) you're seeing to go down on you once in a while. If you get over your insecurities about your genitals and then oral is suddenly awesome, the problem was your insecurities. If you don't get over your insecurities but find yourself coming like crazy with a new boy between your legs, then all the other boys were the problem.
And it's fine for you to think eating pussy is gross — you're a straight girl, and you're not attracted to women. But guys who dig women dig pussy, and you don't have to like the idea of eating pussy to enjoy having yours eaten.
Dear Dan:
I am a 26-year-old straight girl and a virgin. I could delve into the reasons why (shy, late bloomer, average-looking, conservative family), but I will spare you and cut to the chase: I really, really want to lose my virginity. It's driving me crazy! All I want is a safe, anonymous one-time thing so I can move on, and I'm not outgoing/flirtatious/pretty enough to meet men at bars. My question: Straight male escorts — do they exist? How would I find one? I don't think people who develop normally can really understand the sort of desperation I feel.
Very Concerned About Retarded Development
Apart from reaching out to Dominick from Letter 1, a lot of the male escorts on gay-specific escort websites are bisexual; some are even highly heteroflexible gay-for-pay straight guys. Spend some time dinking around on a gay escort site, VCARD, and it won't be long before you run across an ad posted by a male escort who identifies as bi. Just be up front about who you are and what you're looking for.
