Savage Love: No on 60

Dear Dan,

I'm a woman who watches porn — we do exist — and I have a mad crush on a male porn star named Small Hands. Unfortunately, his videos focus less on his handsome face and more on some girl's ass. Do! Not! Want! Is there a way to ask a porn star to please make a few movies in a certain way? I would like to see some movies that feature less of her and more of him!

­— Salivating About Male Performer's Lovely Exterior

"I work with anyone I get hired to work with. I don't have just one co-star," said Small Hands, porn star, filmmaker, and composer. But the ass you're referring to, SAMPLE, the ass Small Hands has been seen with most, is the one that belongs to his fiancee, Joanna Angel, the porn star/director/producer who pioneered the "alt-porn" genre.

"I got into porn because I started dating her," Small Hands told me after I read him your question. "I've been performing for three years, and my GF has been in the game for 12 years. She really put alt-porn on the map — she was the first girl with tattoos to appear on the cover of Hustler magazine." (Please note: "Alt-porn" has nothing to do with "alt-right." The alt-right is about racism, anti-Semitism, and orange fascists — and alt-porn is about tattoos, piercings, and sexy fuckers.)

Regardless of whose ass it is, SAMPLE, you want to see less girl ass and more Small Hands face. Could he make that happen for you?

"Plenty of performers have clips-for-sale stores on their websites, and some make custom video clips for fans," Small Hands said. "But I can't provide special clips for this fan — as much as I would love to —because running our company and editing the films and composing music for them doesn't leave us much time for anything else."

If you want to watch porn that focuses more on guys, Small Hands recommends "porn for women" or "porn for couples."

"I strongly dislike these terms," said Small Hands, "as I feel they are outdated, sexist, and stereotypical. No one — man or woman — should tell a woman which kind of porn is for her and which kind isn't. Any pornographic film that a woman finds arousing or entertaining is 'porn for women.' But these films do tend to give the guys a little more screen time. Also, there's always gay porn, which focuses 100 percent on men, so no worry about seeing a lady butt in those movies."

While we're on the subject of porn: If you look at Small Hands' Twitter account — or the Twitter account of any porn performer working today — you'll notice that most have "NO ON 60" as their avatar. Proposition 60 is a ballot measure in California that is ostensibly about protecting porn performers by requiring them to use condoms and mandates penalties for companies and performers who don't.

"It's really meant to drive the porn industry out of California under the guise of performer safety," said Small Hands. "Among the other problems with this thing is that it could make performers' private information public. So it's not really about our safety at all."

Before I let Small Hands get off the phone, I had to ask him about his nom de porn. How did "Small Hands" become his porn name?

"I have tiny hands for a grown-ass man," said Small Hands, "and Joanna makes fun of me for it. I wrote it down on the forms when I made my first films. It's kind of a dumb name, but you won't forget it."

Any advice for any, say, orange fascists out there who might be insecure about having tiny hands?

"Never be ashamed about having smaller-than-average hands," said Small Hands. "He should own it. And perspective is your friend, Donald. Put those tiny hands down next to your dick, and your dick is going to look bigger!"

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