The curtain's about to go up, and someone's kidnapped the sacred star of the show. That's the premise of When the Oldest Baby Jesus Got Lost, the holiday tale performed by Karamu Youth Theatre. The play revolves around a school choir's Christmas pageant at a shopping mall. Thinking she's doing her classmates a favor, Samantha volunteers her mom's antique doll to stand in for the Savior in the manger. But minutes before the show begins, a slippery doll thief runs off with the porcelain tot. The choir goes on a hunt through every store in the mall, and in their panicked search, they run into a parade of bizarre characters -- including a pair of idiot jugglers, an Elvis impersonator, and one very pissed-off Santa Claus. When the Oldest Baby Jesus Got Lost plays at 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday through December 28 at the Karamu Performing Arts Theatre, 2355 East 89th Street. Tickets are $5; call 216-795-7070. -- Cris Glaser
Merry XXXmas
SAT 12/20
Those who attend Saturday's Toys: A How-To Primer can leave with stocking stuffers sure to delight the naughty ones on their list. "We're going to have sex toys on display and for purchase," says Maura Haas, spokesperson for the event. The social-hour/workshop combo features many battery-powered goodies, as well as tips on how to play with them properly. Forgoing live demonstrations, the program hopes to dispel common misconceptions and discuss people's hang-ups with vibrators and dildos. Sex toys, once reserved for behind closed doors, are gaining mainstream acceptance, says Haas, and there are correct and incorrect ways to use them. Learn the ins and outs of dildo use at 6:30 p.m. at the Aubrey Wertheim Institute of the Lesbian and Gay Community Center of Greater Cleveland, 6600 Detroit Avenue. Admission is $5; call 216-651-5428. -- Allen Miller
One Painting, Two Painting
12/18-12/22
Kleinman Fine Art Gallery is about to pack up the Wockets, Grinches, Bunches of Hunches, and Bar-ba-loots. The Art of Dr. Seuss, which closes Sunday, features both familiar images and political cartoons (made during World War II) by the author and illustrator. "We even have Dr. Seuss's secret art, which many people don't even know about," says Kleinman, referring to such head-tripping works as "I Dreamed I Was a Doorman at the Hotel Del Coronado" and "An Alley Cat for a Very Long Alley." The gallery (12210 Mayfield Road) is open from noon to 6 p.m. Thursday through Saturday and 2 to 5 p.m. Sunday. Admission is free; call 216-421-8484. -- Damian Johnson
