The Real Bob Saget

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You're better off remembering him this way.
In the early '90s, Bob Saget -- or Danny Tanner, as he was known to his cult of Full House followers -- was an island of wholesomeness in a sea of TV sleaze, sex, and violence. Those tender, knee-bouncing lectures he gave to the Olsen twins seemed so sincere. Saget was so clean, he even washed his rubber dish-washing gloves, for chrissakes. So it came as quite a shock to the world when, in the stoner film Half-Baked, Saget stood up at a drug-rehab session and proclaimed, "I used to suck dick for coke." But the gimmick worked brilliantly. Saget made another cameo as the bong-smoking neighbor in Entourage, and in the shockumentary The Aristocrats, where he dropped the words "fuck" and "pussy" like he'd gotten Tourette's syndrome from his years of repression at ABC. Who is the real Bob Saget? people started to wonder. Is he the dorky dad and host of Wake Up San Francisco? Or is he a porn-obsessed meth freak? Last Saturday, when Saget's stand-up tour stopped at the State Theatre, Clevelanders got a chance to find out. The answer turned out to be somewhere in the middle. As expected, Saget exhausted every permutation of the seven words you can't say on TV. Sometimes it worked, such as when he used the visual of a piece of beef jerky resting on a pickle to describe his aging parents having sex. But the novelty didn't last. Lacking in gifts for timing and any hint at comedic insight, Saget came across less like a seasoned comic and more like a sixth grader who just saw an Andrew Dice Clay video and was trying out his new toys. Some jokes were downright painful, like watching your dad try to entertain your girlfriend. Saget showed his age when he broke out an impression of Curly from the Three Stooges. And when a girl in the audience heckled him to bring back the opening comic, Saget looked genuinely hurt for a second. When he responded, "Don't worry, we're gonna double-team you later," it seemed like something the edgy Uncle Jesse had told him to say if he got stuck. In the end, the real Bob Saget turned out to be an awkward dork after all. -- Jared Klaus

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