Upright Guys

Grid/Orbit whips up some firm entertainment.

Mary Lou Lord Beachland Ballroom Thursday, February 26
Fun with penises at Dick Daze!
Fun with penises at Dick Daze!
THU 3/4

It starts with three guys with names like Diamond, Apollo, and Ozmosis, who perform a Village People-inspired "fantasy dance." Those are the words of Gerry Keating, master of ceremonies at the Grid/Orbit's Dick Daze. "They come out as a policeman or as a baseball player or as a cop or as a fireman or whatever and do a strip. And then they strip down to their G-strings and do the Dick Walk."

Yes, the Dick Walk. It happens every Thursday night: Two dancers mingle with the audience for tips, while the third slips into a shadowbox for some dirty dancing behind a sheer silk curtain . . . wearing nothing but a smile.

Customers, two by two, can jump behind the screen for some creative fun with glow paint. "We'll have two guys behind the screen painting [the stripper] while he's naked," Keating says. "And hopefully, he has a hard-on." Order up a stiff one, and get ready for Dick Daze at 10:30 p.m. and midnight Thursday at Grid/Orbit, 1437 St. Clair Avenue. Admission is free. Call 216-623-0113 if you really need more information. -- Cris Glaser

Blues Brothers
Fat Possum hits the road.

BY SAT 3/6

The four guys at the center of the Fat Possum Juke Joint Caravan have paid their dues and have every right to sing the blues. T-Model Ford, Paul "Wine" Jones, Kenny Brown, and Cedric Burnside have operated outside the industry for most of their lives. The aging bluesmen are Mississippi music institutions -- folk artists determined to keep field hollers and recordings alive via modern studio techniques. But don't let the laid-back, front-porch quality of their records fool you; these howlin' wolves stalk a stage with youthful force. This is dirty, rustic music, amped and just a little bit nostalgic for a time when a guitar, a few traditional tunes, and an audience were all a man needed to make a living. The tour rolls into town at 9 p.m. Saturday at the Beachland Ballroom, 15711 Waterloo Road. Tickets are $10; call 216-383-1124. -- Michael Gallucci

Black Is Back
Akron's Black Keys get off the road and onstage.


It's a homecoming this weekend for the Black Keys, who return to Akron for a pair of shows at the Lime Spider. The garage-blues duo has been busy since releasing their high-profile CD, Thickfreakness, almost a year ago. Constant touring -- including an opening gig on Beck's tour last summer -- and numerous media accolades have kept Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney in the spotlight. They play at 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday; the Lime Spider's at 207 South Main Street in Akron. Openers are Intelligent Knives on Friday night and Glenn Schwartz and the Schwartz Brothers on Saturday. Tickets are $10, available by calling 866-468-3401. -- Michael Gallucci

Chosen Ones

WED 3/10

The California that the Elected sings about is similar to the sunny one heralded by the transplanted Irishmen the Thrills. But on its debut album, Me First, the L.A. quartet -- led by Rilo Kiley frontman Blake Sennett -- finds the desolation lurking beneath the shiny facade. They're at the Grog Shop (2785 Euclid Heights Boulevard in Cleveland Heights) at 9 p.m. Wednesday. Tickets are $10 ($8 in advance); call 216-241-5555. -- Michael Gallucci

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