How to Navigate the Weird and Manic Dating Scene at College

How to Navigate the Weird and Manic Dating Scene at College

At its best, college dating is an adventure. At its worst, ladies, it can provide you with ample material for a future tell-all memoir. It's not always easy to decide who's worth your time and who you should steer clear of, so let this serve as your guide to navigating the tumultuous waters of college romance. If any of these warning signs present themselves, run:

• If he "knows your pain" because he took an Intro to Women's Studies class last semester to fulfill a major requirement, or uses voting for Hillary Clinton as an excuse to make sexist jokes.

• If he claims to be a huge film buff, yet the only director he knows is Quentin Tarantino and the only film he can discuss is Pulp Fiction. (He's seen it 12 times, and the film poster is hanging above his bed.) He will also probably think the term "cinematography" is synonymous with "cinnamontography."

• If he empathizes with John Green protagonists and/or any film character played by Jack Nicholson.

• If any of the following apply to his dressing habits: only has one shirt that's not a tank top (it's a football jersey), wears wool trench coats in 80-degree weather, always matches the Vineyard Vines whale on his hat to the color of his button-down.

• If it's his job to present a "How to Get Girls" slideshow for his fraternity's pledges every year. This is a telltale sign that he does not, in fact, know how to get girls; his pledges won't know this, but you will.

• If you are settling in to Netflix & Chill, and he suggests a musical Disney movie just so he can show off his a cappella skills. Alternatively, if each of your "dates" is really just watching Netflix in his room while praying his roommate doesn't pop in.

• If he snorts Adderall in your presence (even if he's courteous enough to offer you some first).

• If his Tinder bio features any of the following: dead animals, puka shell necklaces, his ex-girlfriend. Also be wary of people whose "anthems" are sung by the Chainsmokers.

• If he sees your Star of David necklace and asks which Greek letter it is.

• If the only thing he knows about his ex is that she was a wild, psychotic bitch, and the breakup was entirely her fault. He has never, and will never, do anything wrong.

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