Ask Bill Burr about comedy, and he'll steer the conversation to sports. Not that the New York-based comic doesn't want to talk shop; he's simply too wrapped up in football, basketball, and baseball to relate on many other levels. He's been to the Jake and the Gund, but he has yet to take in Browns Stadium. "To actually see the Dawg Pound live would be surreal," he says. "Especially that one really fat dude." (Hmmm . . . fat dude in Cleveland?) Sports talk aside, Burr is a stand-up guy, with plenty to say about things that piss him off. Right now, it's a malfunctioning relationship that's making single life look enticing. "You can make blueberry pancakes in the nude while singing Christmas carols, and there's no one there to stop you." Burr's at Hilarities East 4th, 2035 East Fourth Street. Show times are 8 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday (January 1); 7:30 p.m. and 10:15 p.m. on Wednesday, Friday (January 2), and Saturday (January 3); and 7:30 p.m. Sunday, January 4. Tickets are $25 (for Burr only) to $89 (for the 10:15 p.m. New Year's Eve show, which includes buffet and champagne); call 216-736-4242. -- Cris Glaser
Party With Pops
WED 12/31
The Cleveland Pops rings in 2004 with its annual New Year's Eve Party at Severance Hall. The evening kicks off with a two-hour concert, in which the orchestra and vocalist Barbara Knight perform a variety of classical and contemporary selections. Afterward, the rug gets cut over at the hall's Grand Foyer and Smith Lobby, where the 60-piece symphonic orchestra presents swing tunes and other dance music. "Every year, the concert has been great fun, and every year seems to be even better than the last, because we are always adding something new," says conductor Carl Topilow. There's free dessert and coffee, as well as a cash bar for revelers who want a little more action. It starts at 9 p.m. at Severance Hall, 11001 Euclid Avenue. Tickets range from $20 to $80, available by calling 216-231-1111. -- Damian Johnson
Final Fling
TUES 12/31
Six Second City Cleveland alumni are returning for one last laugh before the theater goes dark on January 3. 60,000 Christians Can't Be Wrong is a look back at sketches and songs that have been performed at the theater since its opening in May 2002. After the performance, graduates from the comedy troupe's training center are invited to join the cast onstage for one last improv routine. "It's a true Second City sendoff to a phenomenally talented improvisational community," says cast member Marlene Kelly. The performance is at 8 p.m. Tuesday at Second City Cleveland, 2037 East 14th Street. Tickets are $10; call 216-466-2222. -- Cris Glaser
